Tell me I am being stupid

[SebsPrincess]

My partner is currently working away for 6 weeks in the usa, last time he went on his weekend off he ended up in San Diago and met a girl (this is before he met me) they had a fling and kept in touch via skype and email. She was due to come visit him here 2 weeks after he met me, but he called it off because he'd met me and was happy, he told her about me she wasn't impressed but he didn't want to mess either of us about.
He has just told me that a group of them are heading into San Diago for the wknd next wknd, please someone tell me I a being totally insane thinking he is going to meet up with her. I am so worried but dont want to go mad at him and seem like a loony.
We have been together 8 months and he is the best thing to ever happen to me, I dont to blow it because I'm a nutter and have trust issues

Have you asked him if he is planning to meet up with her ?

Did he keep in touch with her at all ?

Have you spoken to him?

You are bound to think it. I would but I would just ask him about it and see what he says and how he says it!

Just because they are in the same place doesn't mean that they will meet each other!

Is it a big problem if he does meet her as long as you know about it?

If you trust him I'd be inclined to let him meet her. Be proud and remember he chose you!

I don't know if they kept in touch or not, I never asked him, I dont think so. I am sure I am being a paranoid twat, but just got that doubt in my gut. He had a crazy wknd with her and loved it, I just worry he'd go see her get drunk and be an idiot. Id never find out, the people he works with wouldn't tell me

I would flip out if he met up with her, their thing was sex, sex and some more sex

speak to him

we can't help you, love

all I can say personally is I would not be "cool" with him meeting her, and I would have no hesitation in putting my foot down

it is very early days in your relationship, but if you have agreed to be exclusive, you are fully within your rights to have your preferences listened to

Have you actually told him how you feel?

AF is right, we can't really help you. You need to speak to him!

But there's no point in putting your foot down. If he wants to see her to the extent he's arranged it without telling you, then he's made his position very clear.

You need to ask him and to know whether he's being truthful. Take him by surprise and ask him when you can see his reaction.

If you find out he's going to see her, in your position I'd tell him to fuck off back down from the relationship.

If he's the kind of bloke to blow an 8m relationship for the sake of a weekend fuck, YOU don't want HIM!

You can't police him, there ought to be no need. Don't get wound up over things that may not have happened.

If they do happen, THEN you react.

I know you're in anguish, but that's pointless, you can't live like that.

Give him some credit, if he were going to San Diego to meet up with her, i doubt he'd mention it to you, OR take a bunch of mates.

What makes you think she'd want to talk to him anyway? She was told to cancel a trip 2 weeks before she was due to fly.

She could have already bought the ticket, booked time off, imagine the humiliation ofcancelling...

Dont worry, not just yet. No concrete need to do so, just yet.