Is your DH generous and thoughtful with presents?

[myoldman]

Just wondering.
My DH is a kind, loving and faithful man. But he doesn't do " gestures" or presents. If he pushes the boat out for birthdays and Xmas then I'll get some perfume but most of the time he scratches his head saying he doesn't know what to buy me.

I've got friends whose DH's buy them lovely jewellery- albeit they choose it- when it's a special occasion. I've never had any offers of that. I have a few pieces of kewellery I've bought myself- diamond studs, a pendant, a ring, but DH doesn't ever offer to add to my " collection".

We are now coming up to 30 years marriage. I've mentioned a few times that I'd like to swap my very cheap engagement ring for an eternity ring/wedding ring combined but he hasn't taken the bait.

I can see that if I want this I am going to have to initiate it myself and that takes the meaning out of it a bit.

I know this might sound trivial but it would be lovely if he could be more appreciative and show it in a way that would mean a lot to me. We've got the money so that's not the issue.

Am I just being shallow? Or is he being thoughtless and mean?

My DH loves shopping (rare I know!) and loves buying presents - so we both go a bit mad and usually get each other a pile for 'occasions' and we do buy each other lots of little things and random times.

I don't know if you can make somebody into the type who likes buying stuff though - DH was like that when we got together, it's not something I 'trained' him to do .

I can understand why you would like him to make more effort, but I suppose if he's just not that type you can't force it - and if he's good in most other ways, I suppose you have to let him off

My husband is the same. It was my first mother's day this year and I was shopping and bought a tragus stud and he said I'll get it for mother's day (completely minimal effort as he hadn't bought/thought of anything). We struggled to conceive for 3 years and he said he now wants a vasectomy so she will be my only child. He did buy flowers but I wanted something memorable so I could keep it. I was so underwhelmed on the day and he did nothing to make it feel special at all.

He has two children from a previous marriage so takes it for granted. Is it spiteful that I don't want to put much effort in now for fathers day as I always buy him amazing things. I always have to remind him too to take pictures of me and my baby as in years to come there will be loads of pics of baby and dad but none he has taken of us. I think it's unintentional but he is useless

No he isn’t. Then again im not materialistic. I say every birthday and Christmas i don’t want anything and he doesn’t buy, and vice versa. If I want something illbuy it myself as i know I’ll like it.

Been together 20 yrs and were happy as we arez

ZOMBIE THREAD from 2012!

Hopefully she got that ring sorted out