I recently found out my husband was meeting up with a friend of mine for coffee, cuddles and exchanging intimate emails and texts. We had been together for over 20 years and were at a very low point in our relationship and had pretty much agreed that we were passing time until our children left home and then would split up.
The meetings never progressed past emails and occasional kisses and I can understand how he felt as I was equally as unhappy and lonely in my marriage. The suprising thing to both of us however was than when I became aware of what was going on we were both overwhelmed with how strong our feelings are for each other and we have thrown ourselves completely into restoring our relationship.
The meetings only went on for a few weeks and ended immediately I found out - he hasnt even spoken to her since. Our relationship has been fantastic since and we are like newly weds again, sending flirty texts, meeting for lunch and having a fantastic sex life.
The problem is that the whole experience has left me totally and utterly devastated. My so called friend is equally as unhappy, is overweight and frumpy with a miserable husband and so was obviously taking the opportunity to flirt and get attention that she wasnt at home. My husband knew she was a safe bet as he could never run the risk of establishing any feelings for her beacause physically she was so unattractive so she was an easy target for him when looking for the attention he craved from me.
The difficulty have is that I keep exploding with rage at my husband to the point of violence, I insist on dragging up the details of their meetings and mails in a bid to hurt and embarrass him and these rows are now in danger of destroying the new start we have made.
He has been nothing but open supportive and helpful, he is desperately sad and ashamed of what he has done and is having to deal with his own guilt and what he has put me through - so I have no reason to react in the way that I am. I had totally pushed him away in recent years and had even told him I didnt love him (which wasnt true)
I am frightened that this will now mean we cant move forward and that my outbursts will end up destroying what we have.
I dont care about the friendship - she is obviously shallow and devious and out for her own ends so I am better off without her - and I understand exactly why my husband did what he did - I was close to it myself at times - so I dont know why I insist on torturing me and him on a regular basis.
Can anyone offer any advice on how I can move forward with the great start we have made.