My racist mother

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I am left mortified by my mum today. She is 80, still very active and able and in full possession of all her faculties. She came up to stay with me and my children for a couple of days, and today before she went home she came shopping with me and my oldest (17) in town.
I was walking through a shop when a woman with a pushchair was coming in the opposite direction, and she just glared at me and kept inching forward so I reluctantly walked backwards to let her through, she wasn't going to give an inch. She didn't even acknowledge me so I said to her, smiling sweetly, 'that's ok, don't mention it'. Now, this woman was, I think, a muslim. This has no bearing on the story up til now, and my reaction would have been the same whether she was black, white, catholic, muslim...I am in no way discriminatory; I just hate rudeness.

BUT...my mother was walking behind me and said very loudly (and please don't anyone think this is my view in any way shape or form) 'f**cking muslims, they're bloody everywhere'. I was mortified and said to her 'what the hell? You can't say that'. to which she replied 'well I just did, and I'll say it again...bloody muzzies, can't stand 'em.' I wanted to shrivel up and disappear; this lady was with several friends and/or family members and all were within ear shot. I walked off, away from my mother mouthing apologies to each of them as I passed them. My daughter was horrified and walked off in the other direction.

What would you have done? How would you have reacted? I was stunned, and only for the fact that she is elderly I would have just deserted her in town but my conscience wouldn't let me.

She's gone home now but I am feeling quite down and drained and really quite upset by her visit.

You did all you could, apologize for your mother. The positive in the story is that your dd was mortified so you are doing a good job there.

How embarressing for you! Has she ever said anything like that before? I accept the older generation do have different views and experiences: its a different world now. But even they should be mature enough to know how and when to express it. My DP Grandma has views we very much do not share but she would never declare it in public as she knows better.

I am pleased you said something to her though, I would like to think I would have too but sometimes the shock gets the better of you!

DH's grandparents are in their 80's and shockingly "daily mail" in their opinions. The trouble is they are both deaf so shout their crap loudly at each other.

Unfortunately yes...whilst she isn't usually so vocal her opinions are bigotted and really rather vile. The first time she came to where I live we got on a bus and she said in a loud voice (the bus was packed) 'what a s**t hole this is, the people are so bloody miserable. If I never set foot in this place again it'll be too soon'.

I have to live in this place, and it's a city like any other; not run down or horrible. Her journey hadn't gone smoothly and this was the product of her wrath.

Funnily enough she reads the Daily Mail religiously; I myself won't read it, I find it shockingly misogynistic and biased.

I don't tolerate any kind of racism and I've brought my children up the same way; by contrast my brother and his kids are possibly worse than my mother. In fact his oldest son was jailed for beating up a young foreign lad not long ago - beat him around the head with a wooden pole!