Think I am being totally pathetic

[Orchidlady]

Have been feeling pretty low lately the usual money troubles, very unsure about how I now feel about dp, general stresses of life, increasing thinking what is the bloody point. I know this is probably going to sound pathetic but DS 12 has just gone off to camp with school for a few days and I can't to stop stressing and worrying. I can't really understand why I feel so bad. He seems really happy, logically know he will have a great time and will be safe but just have this horrible nagging feeling, just feel really stupid. Need a good pull yourself together woman talk.

But he's your baby! Of course you'll worry! That doesn't make you stupid - it makes you a mother. You're allowed to miss him, just so long as you don't stop him going (or make him feel bad about it).

Is DP back on his meds now, everything settled down on that front?

annie I know, I know, just think I am over reacting, did not let on to him though, he was really excited. This is not the first time he has been away and never really bothered me before, so not sure what is going on in my head right now. Re DP not taking meds but seems to actually be quite stable. Just not sure how I feel about him anymore

I don't blame you, it must be really difficult when you don't know if he'll suddenly start being odd again. You don't know who he is, or who he's going to start being next. No doubt it's this uncertainty that's making it harder for you when DS, a constant you can focus on, is out of the picture. At least the lad is off having normal childhood-type activities, one of the good things you can do for him; but the downside for you is it gives you time to think about uncomfortable things. Er, I'm talking rubbish I think, I hope you know what I'm sort of trying to get at.

I get hideous premonitions sometimes when DS4 is away with friends or his dad. I absolutely know I'm never going to see him again - until he comes home and is absolutely fine

you are not talking rubbish, actually makes sense. DP seems to see this as an opportunity to spend time together go out for dinner, I am not so sure, probably speaks volumes really. stupidly sitting here worrying if DS he will have everything he needs, will have enough to eat, just totally over thinking things really.