Sorry, just feeling down and need some perspective
Split up with h about 6 months ago, and very quickly fell for someone else. It was supposed to be very casual (fb if you want), but after spending time together something just clicked and both of us fell in head first.
We have had some truly wonderful times together, and for the first time in years I have felt completely loved, and have mirrored those feelings in return. It hasn't been easy, am going through a divorce, and at times both of our stress levels have resulted in us taking stuff out on each other that we shouldn't have.
Anyways... We had arranged to go out on Saturday night, to dp's friends birthday party. I have met him a couple of times, but didn't know anyone else. Stupid stupid me, had been feeling under the weather (dx with shingles yesterday) hadn't had anything to eat all day, couple of drinks in the house, got to the party, and ended up absolutely shit faced. To a point where I actually can't remember anything. Dp had to take me home (he was driving), I was sick in his car, and generally an absolute nightmare.
Next morning he tells me how horrendous I had been, made a fool of myself and him, the main focus being discussing the size of his man hood with his mate's girlfriend in not such a favorable tone. I can't remember this. I don't even think this. I have never thought this, our sex life is great, so it doesn't make sense.
He is understandably totally pissed off with me, and although we have seen each other a couple of times since, its not the same, and he has said that he doesn't think he can get over it. I have promised him faithfully that it won't happen again, and that anything I said was certainly not meant, but I don't think it's enough.
I am truly gutted. I feel physically sick at the thought of loosing him, I really did think I had found my soul mate.
What do I do?