friends with benifits

[kittykat10]

hi i met my first ever bf off a dating site last year and we got on brilliantly we were so comfortable with each other , he was so kind and paitent with me as id basically lead a sheltered life when it came to men. with i a few months were were practically living togetherwith him even saying he couldnt wait till we were together all the time i stupidly joked at this point oh ud never cope with me . any way all went well till his birthday night out when his friend made a comment about me but bf i dont think heard it, a few weeks later he said he wanted to slow down we stil saw each other and days out with his child but ended up with himbreaking up with me, i was devestated by this as i had been happy.
my question is we are still in touch even having sex about 6 weeks ago when i went over to his, we both seem to want to go down the friends with benifits route , which i am semi happy with i go to uni in sept so will have to study hard.
am i making a mistake? i suggested a dvd fri night with the inevitable but he was non comitale but wanted me over last night!

shall i grab a bit of fun and maybe happiness or stay away.
i struggle to stay away i called by his house 2 weeks ago to give his child a bday gift and we ended up a quick fubble on way out.

he younger than me , more responsible than i am always pays the bills, works hard for his child, when we dated he was lovely never let me pay ( hope that dont make me sound bad) he looked after me when i was really ill when staying at his, was never mr romantic but got problems his job pays bad at times ( works on commision) and wont see his child as much in sept and i think that played a part!

i dont have hobbies i have a dog but struggle to walk her which is a different story,

Kitty, this man is not for you. He's sounding more of a dick every time you post. Do you have some sort of illness or disability that makes it hard for you to get out and meet people?

i have anxiety attacks some times but that work related. i dont have many friends so going out and meeting men difficult i have 2 good friends ones married, and other got a bf.
i even went on a dating site yesterday but the men i like sound of wouldnt like me

It really sounds like you need to see someone about your self esteem. I highly suggest you go see a counsellor, and I wouldn't be dating anyone until you learn to love yourself a bit more.

just found out he on same dating site as me i now feel really ashamed that i went on site

Who cares if he's on the same site? Why should you be ashamed? Being on that dating site shows him that you're moving on with your life and you don't need him.

yeah it does and a nice sounding man asked if he could take me for a drink too!

Well there you go! Seriously though, you need to start focusing on yourself and loving yourself. You don't need a man to make you feel good about yourself, you should be making you feel good about yourself.

guess im lonely . i have a job where i dont fit it but its a means to an end but stiill 8 hour at a time long time to feel like you dont fit in!
i bet he didnt really after all

That can be quite depressing. I went through a hard spell at my job last year as well (I'm the only native English speaker in my office, everyone speaks Arabic around me all day long), and since I was new to the country, didn't really have any other friends.

It can be tough to get out there and meet people outside work & family. But I think you really need to give it a shot. Try joining some clubs or pick up some hobbies.

I once made two really good friends by signing up for a bird watching trip (geeky I know!) I went by myself, and as it so happens they were by themselves to. The three of us became good friends.

So, instead of doing online dating, why don't you try searching online for activities were you could meet other girls and guys to be friends with?

it funny cause i can pretend to be so confident but today sat in tears as i know apart from family i wont speak to any one else till monday.
people are right i have no dignity im ashamed of myself for things ive done.
sorry just very low today , wish id never met him

You last had sex six weeks ago. He has been distancing himself for ages.

I am wondering if he has someone new on the go, hence not committing to future dates as he doesn't know when/if they are free and using you as a fill in for closer nights (mid week not weekend date nights) when he knows he will not be seeing them.

Stop now so that when you go away you have already started healing and can enjoy life rather than having to heal then before you can concentrate and enjoy life.

he isnt with any one else i asked and i belive him , we broke up in april and he hadnt been distancing himself , in march he said coundt wait till i moved in.

Perhaps he realised after he said in march he said coundt wait till i moved in. that this really wasn't what he wanted then. for you but better he tells you straight out and you can start moving on and healing.

I still think you should stop now and start healing from this one. /hugs

this is funny and upsetting in same moment i just went shopping bumped into his ex gf and her new hubby and kids , she said what happened to me nad him and said she thought we were good together

He is stringing you along.

Go to university, meet new people and open your mind to a new kind of relationship - one where you are valued :)

really sorry that this has happened - this person is using you until he finds another girl friend, Sorry but this is really unfair on you as he will not want to be friends when he finds a girl friend as she will service his needs and you will be left hurt and feeling awful.

Please walk away now and don't try to kid yourself