Internet Dating -when likely to be disabled in future by medical condition

[DatingDilemma]

Have namechanged for this.

So 2 years ago I found out my lovely faithful husband had been cheating on me, kicked him out and went through the huge trauma of the split. All the while having a few funny medical things happening. Eventually I was diagnosed with a serious condition which is likely to leave me seriously disabled in the future. Not good

But Im fine now at this moment. And no obvious symptoms. And Im not dead -just got a diagnosis Id rather not have.

So having recovered from the marriage trauma Id like to start dating and enjoy myself a bit again

But seeing other folk with normal health have such trouble dating Im really worried about it -and it has really put me off.

When would I tell any potential partner? What do I tell them? I have asked friends whove dated and they said that they feel dating is a different ballgame when youve had your kids (Im not going to have any more) and its not quite the same as previously.

But I obviously dont want to mislead anyone. But its really hard as Im fine now - I seem the picture of health actually.

So when and what do I tell? And any other advice welcome

Don't tell them anything. Think 'possible new friend' rather than 'potential partner' or dating gets very stressful, very quickly and you can come across as needy or heavy. All you'll be doing to start with is have few drinks and find out a bit more about each other on a pretty superficial level. If you don't connect there's no point baring your soul. If you think it's someone you want to get to know better and the feeling is mutual then you might be able to trust them with more nitty-gritty stuff.

Couldn't have put it better cogito.

Just put a few details on about hobbies, interests etc. Leave the personal details off. That's always a bit much anyway - people offloading emotionally on their profile. I used to just enjoy reading profiles, not necessarily dating on the sites. The breezy fun natural ones always come across best. Do you have a trusted RL friend who could proof read a profile you want to post? I did for two people and gave honest feedback.

First dates should be short and sweet, coffee meet ups etc. Just have fun meeting new people, and don't narrow your expectations, and don't feel you have to tell anyone anything you don't want to.

Have you thought about writing to some Military folks - I think there is a site called Britishpenpals? No expectations except friendship and communication.

Good luck and have fun, sounds like you deserve it. X

No-one can predict the future - who knows what might happen to any of us? I agree with cogito, just think of them as potential friends, get to know them and keep it light.

Have fun!

I have a not-serious-but-pretty-debilitating health condition which I had to mention to now-DP at an early stage (met online, mentioned on 3rd date I think). In some ways good to bring it up early, as you can mention it fairly casually and matter-of-factly. At that stage there was no emotional investment (so he wasn't processing... gosh, do I have to commit the rest of my life to this) and he was polite and considerate, as you would be if e.g. a new colleague gave you similar information. It also set the tone for being honest and having 'difficult' conversations with one another which was great in hindsight.

Your post struck a chord as this was my biggest worry about dating and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it. Don't give the full picture/worst case scenario at first - but be honest, and you can share more if a connection develops.

Hope that helps

Hi yes is not the start of dating I worried about but when it clicks with someone. Glad to hear from someone whose been there, done it Fratercula.

I wouldnt worry at the beginning and I doubt I would come across as needy. And I have a couple of RL friends lined up to help. Thanks for the kind wishes and suggestions :)