What do I say to my son who is having a hard time in his marriage?

[ummamumma]

He and my dil are having a hard time at the moment. I have to say, that she can be a bit of a cow, but he is not perfect either.
I don't want to get involved or offer advice to either of them. The only thing is my son called me earlier today and started slagging off his wife to me. He seemed quite upset, but I just told him that I didn't want to know.
I feel bad now. If he were homeless, I'd give him a place to stay in a heartbeat. I'd do anything for my son. But my gut says not to get involved.
I just don't know what to do for the best.

Umma I do think you are a good mil, and I would advice you step back and let your son ramble on his own about his DW, because somehow, he will still go back to her. Marriage is full of ups and downs, and it absolutely doesn't mean that the two are incompatible. Only encourage them to go for councelling and learn how to resolve conflicts between them. Or buy a marriage course DVD for them(show a positive contribution to it) because I can assure you, listening to you ds mourn about his dw, will result to anger and resentment from your dil.

I have a dreadful mil! she was soo hungry for a GC :) I and H married and a dd came along within a year(unexpected but NOT unwanted) So,being newly married, and a dd, H couldn't cope and he started mourning abt me to mil, how things were so difficult and mil lent a shoulder to lean on :( I have family but some minor domestic issues we should try to resolve and deal with ourselves!
Mil, got absolutely and awfully involved and I couldn't take it anymore after seven months. As I type now, I ran away from these people for peace and a happy environment for my dd and for the sake of my health (got terrible depressed due to all that) I love my H so much but not unless he creats boundaries with his family (mil), I would rather sacrifice that love for peace of mind! H, kept running to his mums house EVERY time we'd argue and mil would keep him for weeks I'm left alone(SAHM) without help, no money no food and mil and H wouldn't care at all. How much more nasty could they be?? H, got home yesterday and found I had packed everything and left. I am over 200miles away and if he loves his dd, he will come looking for her. I used to go all the time to mil's house to try bring this Adult of a child back home to resolve issues and care for dd but mil was unbearable among other (millions of issues I could say about H)

Good luck but please don't get involved, sorry its abit lengthy but I hope you'll understand as I have gone through an awful part of my life with mil and H.

Dh moaned about me to MIL once!
I actually overheard him on the phone moaning about me.
I then took ds1 in the car down to her house and told her all about him! Dh arrived then, on foot ( at the time we had one car!) and MIL and FIL told him that I was wonderful, juggling work and ds1 and that HE needed to help out more. By the time they'd finished, he was like a five year old boy who had been roundly scolded.
Oddly enough, he has never moaned about me to MIL again.