problem gambling - hoping to hear some stories with positive outcomes.....

[Arkala]

In brief...dh has a gambling problem. Turns out it is a long term problem which has flared up again recently.end

Obviously our relationship is only just hanging on by a thread and he knows that any further debts mean i will be seeking a divorce.

We are in the process of totally seperating finances which i realise will have to be a lifelong situation whether we stay together or not as i cannot risk losing the roof over the dcs and my head.

Dh has contacted gamcare who are providing 16 weeks of specific councilling. He says he is committed to being cured (not sure of the terminology) but obviously actions speak louder than words.

What i would really like to know is if anyone has any experience of this type of problem, and what the long term outcome was? Basically am i kidding myself that a problem like this can ever be overcome?

Thank you. I could have wriyten about twenty pages but have kept this brief.

he knows that any further debts mean i will be seeking a divorce

I would change that to any more actions that involve gambling will result in divorce,

because sometimes in a gamblers head they hear the bit about the debt, and it changes to if the debt is gone, problem gone, so they keep having that one last bet which will solve everything if they win,

If really does want to change and never gamble again it has to be because he want to,

Does he really want to.

Who is paying off the debt? The one thing that helped my DH was him paying off the debt himself - no IVAs, bankruptcy, taking out more loans, you taking out loans etc, etc. he had to work extra hard, putting in the hours, negotiating with creditors himself. He had to put it right. I think the gambling help sites recommend this course of action too.

I also think it is like any addiction - it's always there in the background. DH had loads of counselling to get to the bottom of it all (the worst of the gambling was part of a self destruct period).

Good luck.

Thank you both for your replies.

Quoteunquote: i think he does want to stop, he realises it is ruining his life and hopefully sees what he stands to lose in terms of wife, family etc as well as obviously financially

countingto10: I have seen you allude to your dh's gambling so really appreciate your insight. In answr to your qu,we are selling our house (on market anywsy prior to dh admitting problem) however now instead of using the equity as a deposit for a new home, we are splitting it and he is using his half to pay off his debts so he can start from zero.

This means we can only rent while we save up the deposit again. I am ensuring any rental agreement is in my name only.

Do you mind me asking what came to light as your dh's deeper problems behind his gambling? and also how long he has not gambled for?

i hope my dh will benefit from the councilling progamme. He admitted that his recent gambling patch was almost a cry for help.

Tbh i just don't know if i can ever recover our relationship :-(