I am so sad at this

[verysadthistime]

Hi, I have 5 kids with a women I love desperately.

She has suddenly gone really cold and I have found out it is because she is now besotted with an internet man.

I love her dearly but everything I say seems to make her angry.

Do I walk away

do I encourage them to meet

Do I fight

do I give up

I am so confused

thanks

verysadthistime, my heart goes out to you. What a sad situation. Have you and your wife considered relationship counselling? It really does help IMO, but you both have to be honest and committed to the process (sorry if that sounds a bit like therapy speak!).

Sounds to me I'm afraid your wife has lost touch with reality. Like ttc says, the internet isn't real.

Really hope you get this sorted out. Good luck.

Janos, I think it has gone past that, my wife seems to have no interest in fixing us.

I guess I'm just going to have to go away and nurse a broken heart, but not let the kids see.

Boy I love that women, mainly for all the great years we had, I can't imagine that anybody could love her more, but who knows what the future holds.

Thanks for your help, I almost can't breathe for my sorrow.

vstt

Vstt, I can utterly relate to loving someone so much but have got to a place where I've said "hey, I love x so very much but actually what do I love about this person at this time?" and what I've realised is that I love who he once was. I love what we once had. I don't even like the person he is right now. Is that love? Is that a reason to continue torturing oneself? I truly have tried everything: relate; living apart & still being together; living apart and separating and being friends; trying to rebuild a relationship from scratch having separated and STILL it's not working. Yet, I've been screaming inside "I love x so much it has to work" ... and then this weekend following yet more unacceptable behaviour from him I thought "I have to let go. What am I holding onto?" and the answer is "I've been holding on to the idea of love, what we once had and my (once our) hopes and dreams for the future... I've been holding onto our happy ever after"

Sorry, I am rambling about me but I hope it makes sense. I have been going through this for a long time and it hurts like hell and it doesn't matter really what other people say, you have to do what you have to do, and at some point you will just know that there is no more that you can do because you are just not getting back the love and respect you deserve... a comment like 'boy, I love that woman but mainly for all the great years we had' is highly significant imho.

Goodluck whatever you decide

very wise words, Winnie

Winneie, I can relate to everything you are saying, thanks for your post.

Yes I guess That point is where I hope to get, because in my situation I'm still in Limbo

Good luck to yourself
vstt

Winnie, sorry about miss spelling boy I wish there was edit button here lol.

(wish there was one in life too)

Like a fool while she is away I have been out for a drink, so I am posting under a little influence.

I miss her so much the pain is so real, I can't put into words how much i miss every little bit of her.
I cannot see the keys for the tears I haven't cried like this since I was 8

I just thought I'd let you know that what it is like from the otherside sometime

aggggggggh

hi there

just wondered how you were?

MM, that is nice of you, thanks.

Tell you the truth I am not good, but what to do with 5 children looking up to you, you just have to put on a bright face and walk out into the world.

all the while your insides feel like they are going to cruch themselves into tiny pieces.