Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not happy

39 replies

Bbbbbee · 08/07/2012 22:14

Have NC.
Been married for 13 years, together for 17.
Have 2 lovely dc who are wonderful but like all kids, are hard work.
I have been a sahm now for 8 years - by choice - and which worked out very well when ds1 was born as he was a very sick baby.
Ds1 does have some sen but he is making great progress and is doing well. Ds2 is at pre school - he starts school next sept.
I am not sure I love my dh anymore...well...not sure if I feel the same at least.
I feel so lonely...it's not right to be lonely if you are married is it? Or is it? I have no one to turn to. No one. My family are all busy with their own lives (understandably) and we aren't that close tbh.
My pils are nice people but he is their son and - rightly - they would always support him no matter what.
He isn't cruel or violent. I am not abused. He works hard. He loves the kids and me (I think) but I find him such hard work...I used to joke it was like having 3 kids...except it's not a joke anymore :(
I do all ds1s extra work/therapies. I sort out all school stuff and meetings. I do my volunteer work which I enjoy but I would like to do paid work again.
He is useless when the kids are ill or unwell. Ds2 was really ill last week and I had to call an ambulance. Well, I asked dh to do it, but he said he "couldn't" as he was "too upset" so I had to struggle and calm ds2 whilst talking to the operator. He went into another room.
He let me down badly wrt ds1 when he was a baby too...leaving me alone at the hospital with a very sick 6 week old while he went to work. I think part of me will never forgive him for that. I learnt later he hadn't even told his bosses that ds1 was so Ill...
I am always dealing with things alone. I was scared to, but one of us has to be strong, (ds2 is ok btw)
I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing etc I also organise holidays, birthdays, Xmas etc he hasn't had to think about or buy a gift for any of his family since we got married.
I know what you will say...it's my own doing and you are right, but I thought that I was being helpful. Now I realise he just can't be bothered and because he knows in will do it.
It's my 40th this year. Ha! I am probably having a mid life crisis!! All Dhs family keep asking what I am doing. And I answer nothing. And nog thing will happen because I refuse to organise my own 40th birthday. I do everyone else's and thata fine, but I won't do my own.
And no one has offered either...it's just accepted that because I am not organising anything nothing will happen...
I am not difficult to please...a meal and some chocolate would be nice, but I won't even get that.
I seem to come last with everyone. Kids are naturally selfish so that's ok and i am used to it from my own family but I am getting more and more upset with it from dh.
He doesn't listen. I seem to talk to myself. We are supposed to be going on hols (completely organised by me) next week and I am dreading it.
I don't want to sleep with him...have no desire to at all. He is not unattractive, but I just can't seem to feel that way about him when he is so needy all the time.
God, I sound like a real bitch don't I?
I cannot leave. I will not do that to my children.
Is there anything I can do to salvage this? Every now and again we have a "chat" but nothing really changes...how can I move on?
I want to make my marriage work, but atm its a hard slog and I am tired and unhappy.
If you have got this far - thanks for reading my ramblings and I am sorry for the self pity.

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 08/07/2012 23:03

I agree with others you can ask him to change and explain how lonely and unsupported you feel and see if he can change his behaviour towards the dc and you, have you spoken to him about this before, he sounds incredibly selfish and generally uninterested in family life tbh, I think that there are many men that love their dw and dc but aren't really interested in all that goes with being a family, they help to pay mortgage put food on the table and clothes on the kids backs but that's it, they feel they done their bit, sadly your Dh is setting a very poor example to your dc.

Bbbbbee · 08/07/2012 23:04

I am off to bed now, thanks you all for your comments...I will have a think and come back tomorrow.
Thanks again x

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 08/07/2012 23:06

I also got zero for my 40th luckily my mum had gone with my dc to get me a little something so at least I had something to open, it was so hurtful and so humiliating having to tell everyone who asked what did Dh get you thinking I had some fab pressy that in fact I had nothing worst birthday everSad

RandomMess · 08/07/2012 23:08

Yes Bbbee exactly. I've told him that wanted I wanted was to have a few days away together for the last 5 years he left it to the last minute and apparantly because MIL wouldn't have them that was that. He left it too late for me to even arrange to do anything else.

So he put zero thought into it but it's not his fault Confused

He shut me out big time a few years ago and now he wants me to be open towards him. All very messy. We are supposed to talk every night but he would never do that either so I had to again issue an ultimatum that there was no point going any more.

It's bloody hard work!

Spiritedwolf · 09/07/2012 00:24

About your birthday, I understand that you feel enough is enough and you want someone else to organise this. Have you told him that you would like to do something nice but would like a surprise?

I know you want him to be thoughtful enough to consider it himself but I feel if you haven't told him then you are setting him up to fail and yourself up to be miserable. If you are the family organiser who would normally organise things that you would like to happen, but you haven't organised this and you haven't told anyone that you'd like them to organise it - it would be reasonable to assume that you didn't want to mark your birthday, plenty of people shy from making a big deal of milestone birthdays.

Its setting someone a secret test which they don't know about, which you will then judge them on and either feel quietly miserable about "If he really knew me and loved me he would have organised something for my birthday" or possibly even throw back at him in a later argument "You didn't even remember to do anything for my birthday!"

I don't think its fair to do this to him, and I don't think it will make you feel any better about the relationship.

Likewise, you've said that children are naturally selfish and appear to be martyring yourself to them and your husband and then feeling miserable about it. I think you need to be clearer about your expectations of everyone, they should all be able to treat you with age-appropriate respect and consideration - in the case of your husband it should be equal to your own and the children should be learning.

I'm not saying its all your fault or that no one else needs to change. I agree with much of what has been said already about your DH needing to be more considerate. But I think you need to tell people how you feel about what they do, otherwise they will assume you are fine with everything.

I don't think you are a terrible person BTW. I have a tendancy to do this too. I have an idea in my head that people are slighting me because they haven't done x, y or z. I feel miserable about them and me. If I eventually raise it with them, they are usually apologetic and confused, they didn't realise what I expected. People can't mind read what you want. And you can't mind read their reasons for not doing what you want. I've had to learn this myself and remind myself of it.

You need to learn how to communicate your feelings and expectations to your partner, through councilling if necessary. If he still doesn't respond then maybe your marriage is in trouble because he ought to respond to your unhappiness (though it may be a compromise rather than everything you'd prefer).

It sounds like you are the level headed one in a crisis. Not everyone is like that naturally. If he's always seen you as the strong, together one, it isn't surprising he's been leaning on you, but you maybe need to point out that you were scared too and you needed him to be strong also about the ambulance. Hope your boys are well now.

Spiritedwolf · 09/07/2012 00:42

I'm not saying BTW that you shouldn't ever expect him to organise your birthday off his own back. But if you've done it previously, you need to remind him that its coming up and make it clear that you would like to do something for it but for him and the children to surprise you. A hint that you'd like it to be fabulous enough for you to boast about him to your friends and family afterwords rather than burst into tears when they ask because he forgot might also be useful here.

He's not going to suddenly think its his job to do it - especially if you organise all his gifts - you need to let him know. Explain that you don't mind organising things for other people because you feel its part of you giving them a gift, but you feel a bit daft organising your own birthday do and would like some else (i.e. him) to show you that they think you are worth the effort too.

You might need to tell him directly what's involved in planning a party if that's what you'd like. If he doesn't have those skills he might forget drink/food/invitations etc. Set him up to succeed, not fail. A list of what you did for his birthday might be useful here (including helping the children pick out gifts or handmake cards) to give him some ideas.

Likewise with the children, you need to teach them how to do stuff if you've previously done it for them. I know there is an argument that you shouldn't have to teach your DH these kinds of things, but in the long term it might be more successful than just getting upset because he hasn't turned considerate overnight.

Bbbbbee · 09/07/2012 07:19

Spirited...I can see what you mean.
Wrt the children ds2 is only 3 so my expectations of Him are not that high :) and ss1 is 9 but up tho this year has had lots of problems from his sen/sn so I suppose I have done more for him than for an nt 9 year old. He is doing so much better though and is more independent than he has ever been so perhaps that is something I can work on?
Wrt my birthday I totally see what you mean BUT there is a tiny, infantile part of me that thinks "hang on! If I have to write it all
Down for him and tell him exactly what to do I might as well do it myself!"
I think I have so much resentment towards dh at, that it is clouding my judgement.
And I am not strong naturally. I have had to learn to be. And I resent that too :(

OP posts:
Babylon1 · 09/07/2012 11:08

Find your local relate in the phone book or look online. WRT waiting lists, I called on the Tuesday afternoon and we had our first session two days later on the Thursday evening. They also offer weekend appointments so as not to interfere with work etc.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/07/2012 11:43

If he will not go to Relate then go on your own.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships?. Both of you are currently imparting them damaging lessons; him by being a lazy and entitled sod and you by acting as both a martyr to the family's greater good along with being his social secretary.

He gets what he wants from this relationship i.e you doing all the donkey work and he gets off scot free.

What do you yourself get out of this relationship now?. How do you yourself feel?.

Badvoc · 09/07/2012 16:13

I will check it out, thanks.
Good to know the waiting lists aren't huge.
Atilla - I would go on my own. No problem there.
Your phrase "being a martyr" is exactly what I don't want! I hope I don't come across as being one....I just try and get on with it and not moan but it's getting harder.
I hate feels like this...it eats you up inside and resentment is such an ugly emotion.
As to what I get out the relationship...that's a very good question. I get a good father to my dc, I get financial security (until I get a job of my own) and at times I do get support and care...just not very often :(
Both my dh and my sil are quite demanding characters...I have only realised this in e past couple of years tbh...they like to get their own way and in ALS case she has had 3 major relationships end when she has been dumped (one of them a marriage) when the other party just couldn't live with her selfishness.
To be fair to dh, he has changed since we married. He has had to. I won't let him get away with the sort of stuf his parents did.
And, although I can almost see you rolling your eyes at this!, I do think he has a degree of asd, as does our ds1.
His complete inability to understand others feelings is sometimes scary.
He was supposed to ring his aunt yesterday as it was her 75th birthday. He didn't.
I am not going to. I am so fed up of it being me all the time...and yet then I feel guilty...why!!??
I am such a moron!

Badvoc · 09/07/2012 16:14

Oh bugger!
Forgot to NC!!

Opentooffers · 09/07/2012 18:49

"I can't cope, I can't even phone a much needed ambulance because I'm in bits" - ZZZZZZZ.. WTF! I can see why you have lost respect for him - I have too.
Sounds like you could do with pursuing your own path and the degree could be just what you need. You also somehow need to relax about doing everything and let things just not get done for a while when you study - use the "I'm busy, this is as important as anything in your life" attitude. I think uni will be good for you and will broaden your horizons, just be prepared for when you really suss out what a dick he is. Uni will change you for the better and most likely will open your eyes to him, you will feel more empowered too which will give you strength if leaving is what you do in the end. You will see there is a whole other world full of fun experiences to be had - plus a bit of stress and hard slog, study is not all fun and games. Go for it !

ImperialBlether · 09/07/2012 19:03

Your husband is one thing but your children are another. Please don't think children are naturally selfish. I think they love to plan and to buy surprise presents. Don't forget they will be partners/husbands one day and you don't want your DILs upset and angry because they have ignored their birthdays, do you?

Tell your 9 year old that you're 40 this year and that it's a big birthday and people usually plan it and celebrate it. Say you want him to think about what you'd like for your birthday - he should keep an eye open over the next weeks/months and think about what he should get you. Tell him he should ask his dad to come with him to the shops and buy your present and that together they should plan a lovely day. Tell him to involve the 3 year old too - he can help in any arrangements!

OK your husband might be too useless/selfish to think of it himself, but it might work if your son nudges him along.

Oh and I didn't get anything for my 40th - well, I had a leather jacket two months before - we'd each had one - my friends were quite cutting to him at my party (which I'd arranged.) He hated that because he wanted them to flirt with him. We separated shortly after - nothing to do with the presents etc, just that those were indicators that something was wrong.

Badvoc · 09/07/2012 19:41

I am excited about starting my degree again...well, until the first assignment is due and then I will wonder what on earth I am doing!! :)
I might ,emotion it to the boys...tbh a handmad cars would be lovely...just something that's had some thought put into it. You know?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page