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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband watching porn - how should I feel?!

34 replies

Annie421 · 07/07/2012 21:16

Hi,

I really don't know how to feel about this as I feel that it is my fault ...

Our daughter is 22 months old, I am 2 stone heavier than I was before I had her ... I feel gross, I really do feel so unattractive and this has had a big impact on our sex life.... I want to have sex but the thought of my husband seeing me naked repulses me ... I need to lose weight. I work very hard and am constantly tired, this also puts me off initiating sex.

My Husband hardly ever initiates sex, he used to be all over me ... when i was 2 stone lighter. I have recently found out ( although I haven?t said anything to him) that he is watching porn on the computer when I go to bed.

I really do feel so hurt, I just wish that he would come upstairs and let me know if wants sex ... I now feel even more insecure knowing that he prefers to watch skinny porn stars rather than coming to bed with me ... am I being unreasonable to think this? How do I get out of this rut? I have tried dieting but the weight doesn?t seem to be dropping off.

OP posts:
24HourPARDyPerson · 07/07/2012 22:00

Do you have any nights where you are both home together that you could make it your habit to go to bed together?

How is the rest of your relationship, do you spend much time together, are you intimate, laughing, show emotional and physical affection?

there seem to be two barriers, your 2 stone and his preference for the uncomplicated no-effort of porn. If all else is pretty good these aren't insurmountable at all. But it does seem that communication between you is not great.

CogPsych · 07/07/2012 22:08

First of all, 2 stone is not much weight at all. I bet you don't look much different at all and i bet your husband still thinks you're sexy.

Maybe he is not initiating sex because he doesn't want to be a pest? He can see that you're not keen on being naked in front of him, and that you work so hard and are so tired... maybe he's being caring about you by 'taking care of himself' for a while?

£10 says that if you try to initiate sex he'll be up for it!

Also, don't worry about the porn thing. Men can have an emotional disconnection from porn... they don't fancy the women in porn like they fancy women in 'real life', and they can seperate it from their relationship very easily. It's no reflection on you.

Inadeeptrance · 07/07/2012 22:15

You have a right to be upset, he is choosing porn as the easy option right now, instead of having sex with you.

Talk to him, tell him to start putting the effort he's putting into wanking to porn back into your sex life!

You need love and reassurance. He needs to stop being selfish and consider the effect porn is having on his relationship.

EclecticShock · 07/07/2012 22:21

Agree with cogpsych.

joanofarchitrave · 07/07/2012 22:40

What about if you lost two stone and he still watched porn?

He's your husband. Tell him you feel miserable and alone. He should care about that.

MissFaversam · 07/07/2012 23:27

sweetheart get things in perspective, 2 stone isn't 5. You are just a bit more rounded at the moment and I'm guessing gorgeous.

differentnameforthis · 08/07/2012 04:25

i've joined slimming classes and just cant stick to anything Because you have no confidence, therefore no motivation.

OK, firstly..you need to start feeling better about yourself. You feel you are overweight. In the short term there is nothing that you can do to tackle that, except eat less/exercise more. In the long term you will see results.

Your body has just given life. STOP hating it. No matter who you are, unless you have plastic surgery, you will have reminders that you created life, carried a baby & gave birth to it. Love your body for that, if not for anything else. And if you do, STOP comparing your body to what your dh may see in porn & STOP believing societies ideals of how you should look. Know that celebs don't get trim bodies without lots of hard work (and even more photoshopping). There are unrealistic examples of what real women look like.

If you are repulsed by your body I am not surprised that your dh is giving you space. I don't mean that in a bad way, just that, how can it feel good for him to be intimate with someone who is not enjoying it - for whatever reason! when i do have sex i feel my rolls of fat rolling up his stomach and it makes me feel sick! He will probably be aware of this & is perhaps trying to avoid it all together to prevent you feeling uncomfortable.

Talk to him, tell him how you feel. If he makes reassuring noises about your body, accept them for what they are, BELIEVE them.

I am overweight, and get my confidence from the fact that my dh loves my body. He would love it if I were skinnier too, but it does help me to feel good about myself when he accepts me how I am. I don't even know what my rolls of fat are doing when I have sex (tmi) because my mind is too pre occupied Wink

I agree that you should initiating sex & seeing what happens. Don't be repulsed by yourself, perhaps 'suggest' (i.e manipulate yourself & him into) a position where you don't feel body conscious & go for it. You may find that once you start back on that track you will start to feel more confidence in yourself, which will in turn make you accept who you are, or give you the boost you need to get the weight off.

Good luck!

Also, it is often touted on here but it is very true,...don't forget who you are. You are a person & an individual & just because you gave birth, doesn't mean that all you are now is a mum. Find time to take care of yourself. Whatever form that comes in, a little shopping for you, a massage, a nice long bath with wine & chocs etc. I find sometimes that even something as simple as lunch out does the trick, just to eat one meal without anyone needing something! And also reconnect on a basic level with your dp. Don't forget that foreplay starts long before any physical act.

I hope you find something that works for you.

differentnameforthis · 08/07/2012 04:25

Once again, with feeling.... Grin

Your body has just given life. STOP hating it

differentnameforthis · 08/07/2012 04:30

How is the rest of your relationship, do you spend much time together, are you intimate, laughing, show emotional and physical affection?

All that is pretty important too. If you are generally relaxed with him other stuff follows much easier!

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