concise narrative statement about contact (EA ex took me to court)

[butterflybee]

I posted this in legal as well, but have really appreciated the support from the people in here so thought I would try to pick your brains as well.

I've been asked to write a concise narrative statement about contact in response to my ex's statement. He's made an application for residence, contact and several prohibited steps or specific issue orders. He is also self representing and keeps changing his mind in statements about what he actually wants. There are other issues as well.. he yelled at my lawyer in court, sends 5+ emails daily, is already threatening to both appeal and has asked my lawyer to be a witness for his complaint against the judge.

Sorry, that bit was a rant. I want to know what is most important for me to focus on in my statement. Do I need to respond to everything he's said? He has writen more than 100 paragraphs, some truthful and some not. A lot of what he wrote focuses on the distant past - he reaches March 2012 on page 14.

Obviously I need to focus on what is in the best interests of the children and respond to the points in the Children's Act list (The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child etc..) but I would really appreciate any further guidance.

Not in the legal field but my feeling is that if his 100 paragraphs are rather ranty and inaccurate they will make a fairly strong case against him all by themselves. Rather than responding to it paragraph by paragraph, maybe pick out one or two of the more ridiculous statements to answer but otherwise give your view of his suitability for contact in a concise, factual and verifiable way.

Yes, that's about right.

The most rediculous thing is that I've never stopped contact! My proposal is very reasonable (alternate weekends & 1 weekday overnight for kids 5 & 3). I don't want to stop contact, although I'm starting to question if continuing at even that level is actually in the girls' best interests. I've probably been more into compromising than is healthy in all this and he just keeps pushing. Grrr

Your proposal sounds more than reasonable and if I were you as Cogito says, I'd concentrate on coming across as the sane sensible one, and probably not even 'respond' to his rant, except in the loosest sense. If you give credit to any of his wild ramblings you will be giving him the 'oxygen' that he craves and giving credibility to his waffling.

Perhaps its best to point out that if he has had any serious misgivings about your parenting, he has been happy to let them lie while you looked after your DCs for the last 5 years, it is only now that he is bringing up anything, which doesn't really give the allegations any credibility.

The fact that he is already making himself a complete pain in the arse to those who will be making the decisions will work in your favour, so if you think that the days on offer are actually too much you could probably reduce it for now until the DCs are older and can make some decisions for themselves.

Thank you DIFM, I've been trying to deprive him of as much oxygen as possible! It's very difficult when there are still two kids to raise between us.

I will include your statement about being happy with my parenting until now.. that's a very good idea.

Submitted! Yay!

I did end up going through point by point as he got some very major things wrong. I figure it's the one time I'm likely to do it.

Thanks for the responces, they helped me get my head around it.

Now on to the next problem...

Hooray well done! Can you have a quick browse at my statement of case and see what you think:

my thread

Ta very much! And what's the next problem....!?

Added my 2 pence, my dear. You seem to be handling it very well!

Next problems - stop him taking the girls on non-allocated days (like he did this weekend), find some way to reduce or stop harassment, and file for divorce.