Getting back to being a bit naughty

[kellyNo7]

Sorry, this isn't about our cheeky DS!

The post is blunt and to the point. Sorry.

I have been about on here for a bit but changed my name....here goes

Married, two children, v v v happy.
BC hubby (and when we were engaged) liked me to be a bit naughty. So I had the odd FB, told him about it, or a few holiday flings. It was fun but we lost interest after starting to think about children...obviously

Now our family is complete, well for the time being, he has mentioned that he might like me to have a little bit of fun. I have to say I am tempted, I would love a bit of SWOI away from home with hubbies blessing.

But....

Has anyone tried this post kids.
I know a few friends who had "open" relationships before kids and it was fine but none of my yummy mummy crowd do, or none that I can ask. I know a couple have had affairs or one night stands but that is different.

So....

Over to the floor.
Anyone tried?

AIDU . Genius, yellowraincoat

Erm bonkers...thanks!

I suppose I was really wondering if anyone here had tried rekindling something like this. Sex clubs are not really us.

It is easy when you are newly engaged on holiday, you just whip your bikini top off and get chatting to someone on the beach. The outskirts of Worcester wouldn't appreciate my new slightly droopy boobs and floppy tummy.

I think there are some MNs on here who have what you might call 'an open marriage'.
Maybe you could start a new thread asking them to get in touch?
Sorry, don't really have any experience in this area

oh so what you are ACTUALLY asking is, how do i find people to shag.

(just so you know, that really wasn't clear in the slightest in your original post.)

in that case, i think you want to get onto one of those adult dating sites. i don't know much about them but afaik that's how people do it these days.

good luck, please use condoms

Hello, thanks, but no that is not what I was asking, I think I need to put my question across a bit better....I'll have a think. I suppose I am just trying to find some kindred spirits.

The Yummy Mummies are probably FB with your Hubby.

Jeez...don't come on her thread and be all judgey and snide. It's her thread. And her sex life. Her marriage. Her kids. Kelly, personally this is not my cup of tea but if you want to do it then go ahead. All I would say, is that you should be super discreet. You don't want other kids being mean to yours because someone found out.

kelly I would suggest to start a new thread and put in your title 'open relationship'.
There are a few people on here who have tried it/have an open relationship and I am sure they will be able to help.

Btw, I fully agree with with dirtymistress. You don't need to be so judgey.

not my cup of tea but am sure there are plenty out there that do do it and if you and your dh are both open and honest and happy and dont have jealousy issues then i am sure it could be fine but yes please do be discreet for the sake of your children. and safe of course!

just do it the same as you did before, or seek out some swinging event?
cuckolding is not an unheard of kink. I think theres quite a few people that are into it

Ignore the usual monogamist whining; plenty of people have monogamy-free lives even after becoming parents; you just need to be a bit more careful and you have to schedule more tightly.

I appreciate you don't fancy swingers clubs (though there are lots of nice ones out there) but you might find a swingers website a good way to find new partners who 'know the score'.

Just one note of caution though: you mention that your H is keen on this, are you keen on it too? Sometimes women do find they feel differently about this sort of thing after having children. Not necessarily, of course: I was ready for a bit of group sex about 6 months after having DS .

I'm sorry but I think you need to behave like a grown up wife and mother and that doesn't include fucking other people. If this sort of thing caused you to get divorced, could you look your DS in the eye (in the future) and admit what you had done and tell him why his home was wrecked?

I am even more sorry to write this but I would suggest that your H is already having extra marital sex. You're right, it is naive to suggest he isn't the type. There isn't a type and any married person can get involved in this sort of stuff.

SWOI or FB are just trendy ways of saying that you are cheating on your spouse and family and having an affair. Don't be fooled by the catchy acronyms - they could destroy your life!

And I would add that I believe the poster above me is single so she is entitled to partake in these activities. OP isn't IMO.

Have quite a few polyamourous married friends with kids - its about honesty and planning and it works for them BUT they do report that casual encounters do not work.

If you entered into a polyamourous union to begin with fine but make ground rules with DH before you start - discuss whats on and off limits and be very careful with "swingers sights".

To the posters who say its unfaithful it depends on your individual definition of the relationship if you share your life with one person and a home and a family and are honest and both happy then what's the harm for OP? My friends are (mostly) pagan and have all had civil ceremonies with their own vows - one has also had another ceremony to officially recognise her sub.

However, OP be sure of exactly what you are doing and why before you start!

omg, fully consensual mutually enjoyable non standard fornification???

how can you possibly be consenting to something that I wouldnt personally consent to???

shocking! I just WONT believe it

It's not cheating if he is encouraging it. Everyone to their own. Just be careful...

the OP isn't "entitled" to partake in these activities? blueglue you have been on the glue for too long i think...

look i think swinging is quite yuck, and not something i would happily advise people to explore, but fgs, it's not about "entitlement" or lack thereof. it's not illegal, so obviously she is "entitled" to do it.

what other measurement could you possibly use?

OP, I am spitting feathers with envy!

Swinging or open relationships do not wreck functional relationships. Nor do they fix failing ones. Monogamy is basically just another fetish, it;s not remotely natural. People who are honest, fair and kind to their partners and themselves have a good chance of having things work out fine, whether they are monogamous or engaging in group sex twice a week. People who refuse to consider any way of living other than what they like or what they think the neighbours do, and who won't discuss any changes in a relationship with their partners, these are the people whose relationships are likely to come unstuck.

Ha, thanks Jade!
And everyone who made nice, kind, helpful or funny replies.

Did it at the weekend. Lovely chap at the gym presented himself quite out of the blue. Good fun. Hubby enjoyed hearing about it for days afterwards. It has really taken us back.

So today's letter was W and the word was wittol

So congrats all round in order; and what a useful word, I shall look for opportunities to use it constantly from now on!

Arf at 'presented himself' . It sounds like he had a small sign.

I don't know OP, it all sounds a bit risky - short term excitement gained at the expense of long term loss of respect (in both directions).