Please stop me from starting an affair

[Mogagog]

So in brief I've been married to DH for 15 years and have a 5yr old dd. I'd say on the whole we've been pretty happy, DH is very kind, caring, decent man. We're having a bit of a rough time at moment due to his stressful job, my boredom with life and so we don't seem to do much fun stuff together and the sex is virtually non existent. DH is not very physically affectionate. So all in all I've been feeling bit unloved. On paper I have perfect life, gorgeous family, Stunning house, SAHM from choice etc etc.
BUT I've recently met someone (through voluntary work) who is lovely. We seem to have a certain chemistry even though only spoken a few times. I can't stop thinking about him. He's separated with young children.
Is this a case of "bored housewife syndrome".
What would you do?
On one hand don't want to leave Family as I do love them but on the other hand am I missing a passionate life with om? I don't know what his feelings are towards me but suspect a similar attraction. R
Has anyone walked away from temptation for the sake of children? How is your relationship now?
Thanks for your views.

FFS grow up.

Imagine him getting full costody and the house ; you livinbg in a bedsit and only seeing DD at weekends.

Get over yourself. It never ends well.

How would you feel if you found out your DH had written your post? Put your energies into your marriage and family.

You no its wrong so why go there? If your fed up at home then put your energy into changing the situation and making it better

I have just split up with my P. I am now shitting my pants about how i will afford rent, bills, food, if i will ever meet the right man again, if im destind to be alone, if i will be able to cope, if it will effect my DD.
I have cried every day since it happend.
Its an amicable split, no one else involved, but its still sad and it still hurts.

Don't choose this for your family.

I agree - shake your head and start thinking clearly. I've had crushes on people in the past where there was "chemistry" but honestly that is all they are crushes. Smile, enjoy the compliment and get on with your real life.
If you're that bored and frustrated start doing something about your life - work, study, more volunteering, whatever. And start organizing some time with your husband. If after all that you are still frustrated - leave your husband, start a new life and then meet someone

Yeah grown ups walk away all the time. Adults with the emotional intelligence to see the devastation they would cause their family and selves.

Put your emotional energy into your family, your sex life and value what you have.

Passionate life with om? Sordid, embarrassing and immature dreaming is one thing, living it with some arse happy to shag someone with a husband and young child is just yuck.

Do you think your life would be any more passionate and exciting with this other guy after 15 years of washing his socks and leaving the loo seat up? Didn't think so.

Get a grip love.

Put your efforts into working out how to put the spark back into your marriage. It's tough keeping things on track, it will never be like it was in the beginning etc etc. But you know really that a fling with this man isn't going to sort your life out, don't you?

The grass is always greener syndrome

My DH found some flirty texts between me and another man, I have no idea why I did it but in the instant he found them I saw what would happen if I had actually gone there. I thank god I didn't. Don't risk your marriage!

Thank you for your frank and down to earth comments. Yes you are right, just seemed to have got in a rut and need to sort life out.

Picture yourself hiding the tears as you drop your daughter back home to her daddy after your weekend contact visit.

And picture your daughters tears as she tries to understand why mummy left.

Then picture your husband fucking some random woman because he got a bit bored. In your bed.

And think back to the vows you took.

And then grow up.

imagine your husband had made a plea for someone to stop him from starting an affair.

avoid contact with this man.

Get a job? Would definitely eliminate the boredom....

Sorry, but what everyone else said!

You admit you're bored. Get a job and do something to deal with your boredom before you wreak havoc in the lives of your family.
You clearly have no idea of the pain and anguish such selfish behaviour causes. Take hold of yourself and sort your life out before you experience that pain first hand (and inflict it on your child who will never get over it).

Don't be a dick.
Hth.

Yes, it's bored housewife syndrome.
Change the volunteering you do to avoid him, and try to revive your marriage.

Can't believe you would actually seriously consider this.

All the time you've spent daydreaming about this man could have been spent on improving your relationship with your H (who probably feels as unloved as you do). You've got time on your hands - book a romantic weekend away with your H and put the fun back into your relationship.

puds11 so sorry to read this :(

Thanks doggie. I'm very sad, but its gunna be ok (i hope).

I nearly started an affair quite recently and have nipped it right in the bud, there are many ways of improving a boring relationship and restoring it to it's former glory, don't waste your investment on a silly crush.
Boredom will strike no matter what kind of life you lead at some point and instant gratification is almost never the way to lasting happiness.
You will feel like such and idiot if people found out and your self esteem would be affected.
I know it hurts but talk to you dh, do different things with each other, ask him if he feels how you do.
I became so intoxicated with this particular man that it was like coming off heroin but now I see clearer I cant beleive I even entertained the idea.
Don't be a liar, you're better than that.
Perhaps write a list of all the things you want to change and go through it with your dh, the sex issue is important so tackle that one first, so many small niggles dont matter after a good shag with the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
Good luck

Having been where you are very recently Mog, and hopefully now heading towards where you are snap, I really would say don't do it. Had a huge heart to heart with DH tonight and had been so close to leaving, but actually talking and reconnecting has given me so much hope. I still have a lot of feelings for OM but at the end of the day I love DH and we have been through so much together. When you are with someone for a long time there will be hard times, but I would never recover if DH had an affair so its something I just couldn't do to him either. What gives me a reality check is going to check on my peacefully sleeping DC's, giving them a little kiss and imagining the pain and tumoil they would endure if I was just thinking of myself rather than the bigger picture.

Thank you thank you so much. I know what the right thing to do is, just needed someone to kick me up backside

The 'chemistry' with this man at volunteering will soon go if you take things any further, even texting flirty 'banter' ,and your DH finds out.
If you don't want a job, and let's face it there are thousands out there that really need one just to pay the bills not to relieve a bit if boredom, then swap your volunteering and step away from temptation.
Then really talk DH.You may be surprised how disenchanted he may be at the mo, being busy and stressed at work is just a different kind of frustration.Then work out a way to strengthen your marriage rather than ruin it.