Obliged father

[PaynesGrey]

Hello. This is my first ever post on anything. And my first pregnancy! I am 8/9 weeks.

My partner ended our relationship days before I found out I am pregnant. He was desperate for me to have an abortion but has now accepted we are having a baby. He is a good and loyal man and would be more unhappy leaving me to become a single parent, than staying against his desires. I want him to be happy and I don't want to be with him knowing that's making him unhappy - but the character he is; he HAS to support me; he has no choice. We are almost between a rock and a hard place. He is doing well and being supportive but he wants help and support, and I want to help him.

He really needs to come to terms with what's happening - either to stay or know it's ok to go. He had an intensely traumatic childhood and there is alot he has to come to terms with, about his own father.

Is going to his GP for counselling the only pathway? Are there any organisations or other support networks that anyone could recommend?

We are going to see RELATE together soon too.

Thank you

Hi Paynes, didint want to leave your post with no reply. Firstly, hats off to you for being so supportive of your partner. I'm sorry you're going through this when you're pregnant.

I'm not sure I can offer much advice though. There probably are local support groups that he could attend or perhaps counselling would be a better option to help him come to terms with his childhood.

I think maybe start with Relate together & try to work out your relationship first & foremost.

How are you feeling? (((hug))) x

Congratulations! It's great that he wants to be supportive and to be involved. I can't help with advice really but it so good to hear about a dad that wants to do what's best for his child.

Whether he stays or goes is for you two to decide. No-one knows what the future hold but whatever happens he will always be the baby's father and be a positive role model.

Good luck.

Yeah, just want to chime in with kudos to both of you: him for wanting to be a responsible parent, and you for being so level-headed about individual happiness.

Relate sounds like a great path for you to follow: it will help you build a relationship in any way that ends up becoming the obvious choice for you, either as a couple trying to make it work together, or as co-parents who are able to communicate well and raise a child without being together. (Relate is not just about helping couples stay together: it also can focus on helping to build healthy separations, and communication around that)