Is their a correlation between a psycho df's and dc ASD?

[seaofyou]

Just wondering because I have spoken to a lot of mum's on here in my shoe's whose dc are on spectrum and the df is a total psycho/narc/abusive twunt of some sort!

Any research to back it up as becoming more than a coincidence now

thanks Claire2009 for sharing. Do you think your dc df had a personality disorder of some kind?

Sorry to be thick, but whats df?

If anything DD (6) has some personality issues, she doesn't have asd or anything underlying, but her mood swings are crazy. She is like a light switch with them, saying that, it may just be a 6yr old girl thing

df= dear father can be dear friend to when talking in that context.

Oh I dont know about girls eek! Only have ds. Is it just mmod swings? Does dd get physically violent in a criminal way...ie tries to stab you etc...that is types of behaviour I guess more ASPD

DS has ASD and his bio father was abusive, I believe that his father had HFA affecting his social skills and inflexible thinking. I agree with some other comments that he didn't have the opportunity to learn adequate coping skills and so never learned to respond appropriately.

DS has challenging behaviour due to his ASD, he has violent meltdowns, has been excluded and I could certainly see how that could end up manifesting as abusive behaviour in adulthood if he didn't have the right input. Fortunately he does, because I pushed for our LEA to send him to a private ASD school and I have learned a lot about how to parent children with ASD myself. But that would have been missing from exP's life, his parents are lovely but in those days they wouldn't have had the understanding and provision available.

I don't think the line between abusive behaviours and ASD behaviours are as clear cut as some claim it to be. Many of DS's ASD behaviours (and that of his peers who are all on the spectrum) manifest in exactly the same way as abusive behaviours. To the person at the receiving end, it doesn't make much difference whether violence, refusal or manipulation is coming at them because of the person's anxiety due to ASD or because they are just very selfish people.

Of course there are many people with ASD who don't exhibit violence at all or any behaviours that might be considered abusive, there are many who are very passive (which is just as problematic and often means they are vulnerable to abuse themselves).

Thanks steppingout, it is the father's I am focusing on trying to see how many dc ASD have fathers that have some sort of personality/behaviour problem! So do you think stepping your dc father had AS too like his df? Or do you think it was more like a personality disorder?

I know I'd get more answers saying are there any df's of ASD dc that are loving etc as see it alot on SN children but I think there could be a subgroup going on here?

seaofyou, No none of that, just screamy/shouty/tantrums.

Neither are violent in that way, I can be shouty though, so I expect DD has just got it from me.

DD & DS's Dad is on meds with his own psych nurse that sees him once or twice a week, whatever it is with him I guess is being sorted, he is too calm nowadays though.

I used to think he had a personality disorder (he was violent, had a criminal history, had strange ways of socially engaging with people, very black and white thinking). But having learned more about ASD once DS was diagnosed, I can see that those traits could have come from ASD too.

I've read many case studies about how young adults with undiagnosed ASD have ended up in the criminal justice system or haven't managed to hold down a job because of their lack of social skills and inflexible thinking.

oh dd sounds normal Claire..she'd be strangling cat etc according to ASPD literature. Ah so df has illness...different! Glad he is better for dc:)

Yes sounds more ASD with liternalness steppingout..which my ds df has too but the cruelty to animals and children, occult, implusive threatening violence, not a care about his dc, projecting his faults onto me,extreme gaslighting, grandious self, tried to steal thousands, addictive traits etc that aint ASD! It's more like ASPD!