Gutted for my friend

[stookiesackhouse]

My poor friend :(

Her DP of ten years told her this week that he no longer loves her and it's over.

She is devastated. She has had a rough time recently - two mcs this year. She is in shock and panic. She is late 30s, no dcs.

I really feel for her.

She is coming to stay at my house tonight - any ideas on how best to support her/the right thing to say?

Just let her talk it out and offer to keep her busy. When my 12 year relationship broke up I remember alternating between wanting to crawl under the duvet with a bottle of scotch and grabbing onto any chance to be with other people that I could find. My best friend got it about right. Let me bore her rigid with my woes for several weeks but, one day, said I had to stop wallowing in the past and start thinking about the future.... it was good to have someone call time.

Thanks guys. Good advice. Will heed it.

Don't slag him off to her - she will remember that if they get back together.

What everyone else has said.

I also just wanted to let you know that this happened to a close friend of mine. Almost exactly the same. She was 39 when her DP announced it was over - they were childless and had been struggling for a long time with IVF and fertility issues (unknown problems) and i think this was a large part of the break up. Naturally she was devasted about the loss of her DP but also gutted thinking it meant she would never have children and by the time she has recovered, met someone special etc, she would be too old for children.
As it turned out she met someone within a year, fell head over heals, married within 6 months of meeting him, they have a daugher (conceived naturally) on honeymoon and they are now expecting DC2.

So as it turns out it was the best thing that could happen to her

So there is hope out there that it can happen for you friend too, even though it will not be feeling like it now.

Justbe there to support her through it. That is all you can do

My friend is going through this at the moment.

I'm just there for her whether she wants to rant or cry (it was ranting last night). I don't comment on "him" though or fuel her fire though just say mmmm and nod.

I send a text every day to let her know I'm here for her no matter what, all she has to do is pick up the phone, ask for company or alone time.

So basically, reassure but don't pressurise.

Go with the flow

and have plenty of tissues and wine in