Do you persevere with someone you don't fancy?

[akaemmafrost]

If they are doing all the "right" things, are thoughtful, text, phone a lot, offer to do nice things for you. He's doing everything right, but I just don't fancy him. Can't summon up any enthusiasm to see him etc.

I was with someone I think I fell in love with earlier this year he was Mr Wrong, made little effort but was funny and amazing in the sack and I fancied him like mad!

Maybe I am still hung up on him I think about him an awful lot.

Mr Perfect On Paper doesn't get a look in. What the hell is wrong with me? Before those two was a bloke with red bunting everywhere but thanks to MN I realised and dumped him fast. Before that was abusive 10 year marriage ex. I think my radar is reset but it sure as hell makes meeting a bloke I actually fancy very difficult.

Just rambling really.

akaemmafrost this could of been me writing this post. Just so you know your not alone, Im exactly the same.
Just read the posts and feel better myself now.
No we shouldnt settle!

FGS dont settle! If you dont fancy them at the start its pointless.

yes I see what you mean, a sudden glimpse of rippling muscle...

it is true once you start to love someone, you do find him attractive. All very complicated. Not sure this is helping you at all OP! I wouldn't begin a sexual relationship with a man simply because he is nice I don't think, it would have to be different for me, there would have to be some kind of frisson there at least. However I could imagine a nice guy who you don't originally see as a potential partner when you get to know him better at some point might awaken that feeling in you. I think you might have to go by your gut feeling on this one.

Another one who feels the same here. I have just ended a relationship of 18 months because at the heart of it I just didn't fancy her enough, but I had always thought that the fact we got on so well would overcome it. But it didn't .

It might be because I have still not got over my loooong marriage which ended 2 years ago.

So I think, for me at least, that it is too important to ignore, and OP if your hunch is that it is not right, then listen to it, because it may cause hurt later.

Hmm. I married on the rebound to a man I now realise I don't really fancy. Ooops. I don't think I recommend it, although I do have 2 beautiful children and a functioning relationship, which as I was getting older was also something I really wanted from life... but I think it would be so much better with some sort of spark...

Yes I've found someone pretty unattractive but decided to date outside of my normal (as the gorgeous guys had lots of options). The ugly guys do to unfortunately as many women I have spoken to also date ugly to get better treatment.

The issue is going for personality and clicking but not wanting a snog can be difficult. It does make you feel better as they are more into you...it's a ego boost I suppose.

I haven't dated in a while, recently dated someone I'm not attracted to at all. Worried about people seeing us in public and to make it worse he thinks he is gorgeous. He said he has previously dated 'DIRECTORS' and women that when they walk into a bar everyone stopped to breath.

He has come over to my place a couple of times and has asked as he is leaving to come over 'shall I eat before I come or eat at yours?' I've asked him to stop this - I said if he is invited over I will say 'come over for a meal' but a visit is a visit. He told me his DIRECTOR ex who also had a busy job insisted on cooking for him and would meet him at the door with a beer.

Anyway here I am with mr ugly and I'll be dumping him this week (but will try to be gentle about it). He doesn't look as good as I like my man to look, doesn't have a good attitude to women and just is not romantic.

If you have no connection but they are a good character you can fall for them but if both fronts don't meet your needs - kiss him goodbye.

No don't settle. That wouldn't be right for you or fair on him. It is possible to start fancying someone you didn't fancy before, but I wouldn't recommend sticking in a relationship with someone you don't fancy, in the vain hope.

Depending on your childhood and many other factors, how you perceive chemistry can mean you aren’t attracted to good healthy people.
From experience I have amazing chemistry with people who make me laugh, fancy the pants off, to the point I become a bit obsessed. Every one of them have turned out to be a dick head that doesn’t value me.

I’ve had to rewire what I find attractive by watching YouTube videos called create the love by mark groves, Amy young and self love u. Those videos have helped me realise what I was attracted to was all wrong.
We all age and lose our looks. Your guy sounds amazing.
I would keep seeing him a bit more. If it’s not there it’s not there but it could grow.