The dating 'game'

[bucketbetty]

I've been single for nearly 8 years and not dated anyone for nearly 4 years. I've met someone recently internet dating, it's only been about 4 weeks and 2 dates later, another date planned for Friday. We don't ring each other or really text except when we've been arranging to meet each other. He's been a real gentleman, paid for everything when we went out for dinner and appears to be a genuine guy. Do I just go with the flow or should we be at the very least texting each other inbetween dates? I'm happy enough to go with the flow but also wondering if it's normal to just go on dates and not really do much in between? Also, I'd really love to have sex -can I do it so soon after meeting?

Anyone? My next date is Friday so I need to know if it's ok to have a bit of howdeedodee??????

Normally, people who are interested will get in touch between dates. So don't stand on ceremony. If you're interested in him, send a few texts or call. If you fancy him, try flirting. See what response you get.

hi
I would say go with the flow and definitely watch out for those "red flags" since you are only starting off on the "dating game" again. Dont be naive, i didnt think i was until recently! I would say see how your date goes on friday. Is there definitely a sexual attraction? not sure you can plan doing the deed but if it happens it happens. There are no rules, i guess you will know on friday
good luck :-)

Cogito, yes I know, but we are arranging to see each other. Mmmm.... yes, I think he should at least be saying hello from time to time. I'm not really contacting him either. I'm really really rubbish at this sort of thing - well dating, I'm totally shit at at.

Peppa, I don't know if there is a sexual attraction. We had a little snog when he walked me to my car, he was very passionate and I did like it. I don't know what to make of him. I'm trying not to analyse it too much and just going with the flow.

I think it depends on the man really. When DP and I started dating three years ago we didn't contact each other except to arrange dates, even now he rarely texts or calls except to make arrangements.

I would think you should be able to tell that there's sexual attraction by now though! I can normally tell if a guy is sexually attracted to me within ten minutes . If he's treating you to dinner and snogging you, that's a good sign.

Thanks makemine, I think I'm starting to get a bit scared. It's not that unusual, I have been single forever and ever and ever..... I've just realised I may also sabotage things because I've avoided intimacy for so many years. God I'm fucked up!!!!! I better not drink any alcohol on Friday night

I think it depends on the person and how much 'value' they place on texts. Me, I like getting them and I think it shows the other person is thinking about me from time to time. Some others don't think of texts that way - they rarely send them and think of them as just a way of arranging things etc

Its early days. I'd see how Friday goes first. If you like him after that, send him a text saying you had a great time and hope he has a good day blah blah.

I'm very aware that I'm quite barriered and not a particularly intimate person. I felt uncomfortable when he was so passionate when he kissed me. I used to be a slut back in the day too

You may not have has many barriers or fear of intimacy as you're putting yourself down over - if you did you wouldn't be wanting texts, phonecalls or thinking about having sex with this man.

You're aware you have barriers, they're for you're own protection but maybe try and drop them bit by bit, step at a time.

Faff, good advice. I think I'll be fine. I'm just being my usual neurotic self. I have a good sense of my barriers and I really want to be ready to be with someone now. Not necessarily this guy, but someone, so I just need to buck up and get on with it. I'll let you know how I get on Friday. I'm feeling optimistic.

Update all. I had my date. Twas not what I'd hoped for. However, I feel glad I experienced a another date with this man (although without what I'd hoped for). I've realised I'm ready for a relationship. Hooray! I'm on the road to meeting someone. I had a nice night but he's not for me. oh well, onwards and upwards (and hopefully sex sometime soon)

Great attitude BB - Here's to onwards and upwards!!

Faff... yes, I'm wonderful am I not!!!! , here's to future dating (but with sex). My God, if I don't have sex soon I might die!!!!!!!