Sorry its more of am essay....
I was with my ex for 15 months on and off. During that time he has never really committed to me in anyway.
First few months were great, went out lots and had fun but things started to go down hill pretty quickly.
He started cancelling every other date we had, reasons varied from he was tired, had a bad day and wouldn't be good company, had to have his daughter for a week as his ex was poorly, his dad (who lived with him through illness) was poorly and he couldn't leave him. After a few cancellations I ended things but he managed to convince me to meet up and talk he told me some really personal stuff about his life and why he kept cancelling. I agreed to be more understanding and let things go.
He began cancelling more and more but I let things go because I believed him when he said he loved me.
I was very insecure with myself and him. I had it in my head he may have been with someone because he wouldn't invite me to his house. He did once ask me to meet his daughter but I thought it was too soon for me, I wasn't ready. When I was ready he said he didn't think we were in a good place at that time. I seen it as more excuses.
More recently I found out I was pregnant, I had to tell him by text because he wouldn't come round and couldn't answer the phone as was at work. Took him 5 days to visit me. In that visit he told me to have abortion or find someone to be my babys daddy.
During the next 12 weeks we didn't see each other, just texts where we both got very angry. I had decided to keep my baby.
First weekend in June we decided to put our differences aside and sort out our relationship. Days later at 20 weeks pregnant, I found out my baby had died inside me. I was beside myself with grief and hurt. Had to be induced, go thru labour and give birth to our dead son. He was nowhere to be seen although he promised to be there and support me. He did come to hospital to see me later that night and broke down about our baby and how guilty he felt about the way he tried to bury his head in the sand and the way he treated me.I thought we had a very open and honest discussion and maybe after all the heartache we may have a chance to work it out and have a happy ending.
That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't seen him since. A text now and again where we end up at each other.
I feel like the worlds biggest mug for ever trusting him. I just don't know how someone can make a tragic situation even worse with his false promises and false hope he gave me. I never thought someone could be so cruel in such a traumatic time.
I will never understand men!