How do I encourage him to get back in shape without hurting him?

[StripeyVest]

My husband and I met as teenagers, he has always been slim and healthy and looked very good with his shirt off.

Lately hes been putting on weight and expressed concern about it himself as he doesn't want to be 'tubby' as he get older, we are only in our late 20's.

I'm ashamed to say I would really like him to get back to his previous look as my 'thing' has always been his washboard tummy and that 'V' shape blokes have at the hips.

However I feel like a total cow and hypocrite for feeling that way as my body is a wreck from having kids, I need to loose 2 stone at least and I'm a stretch marked sagging mess.... but its all been unavoidable in the process of having his babies.

Obviously I want to loose 2 stone so can anyone help me word it right so im suggesting we both do a bit of a diet and work out.... to be honest he doesn't have to loose any weight really, maybe half a stone, its just the 'dad tummy' is emerging where his lucious toned tum used to be!

Please don't think I'm being bitch, this man is my world and he is amazing!! I just want to get bac to my fit, prior to kids, self and would like it if he joined me and I could do with the encouragement as Im a chocccie monster and am going to struggle :(

You could just say that you are making a serious effort to get fit and eat healthily, and would he support you by doing it too?

I've lost a stone upto now puds and he just lives off junk and doesn't gain much weight, he eats biscuits all day, so i might suggest we, as a family, ct out all of that stuff... it would make it easier for me not having the tempatation in the house!

Definitely lead by example. Healthy food and exercise are fun things to do as a family. Make lots of 'phwoarrr' noises at the Wimbledon tennis players as well. I find 'petty jealousy' is very motivating for chaps. :)

Suggest to him, "let's both get fit together!"

Yes, don't keep any junk/unhealthy food in the house. How old are your DC? Can you go on long walks/exercise together as a family?

It sounds to me as if you are both young and got away with eating junk up until recently, while still managing to look good. Age is catching up with both of you and you will need to exercise more discipline in your eating habits if you want to hold onto your youthful bodies. There is absolutely nothing unusual about this! I would start reading a few books on healthy eating (not dieting) and experimenting with some recipes, and try to get your DH interested at the same time. This is a long-term project with no end...

Nice going Stripey i wish i could too! How have you done it?

Thats it exactly Bonsoir!!

I think i need to shift the baby weigt and we need to make an effort for each other, its been 15 years of being together now and I still find him as atractive as ever but i don't want us to get complacent and just wander through into our mid 30s without adressing it and think 'shite whats happened?'

Thanks for understanding, I felt really mean but I've noticed a few blokes recently and looked longingly at their tums (celebrities I mean not random blokes int he street!) and thought I wish DH still had the lovely hard tummy.

But then felt wful as through all my weight gain, pregnancies ect he has been bloody amazing and has never, ever once made me feel bad about my size and made me feel as beautiful at almost 14 stone and post pregnancy as when I was 19 pre kids!

I don't think you should say specifically that you want him to get his "washboard stomach and v shape at the hips" back, because this might be unattainable for him now he's older (unless he's prepared to put in lots of work at the gym) and he might start to worry that you aren't finding him attractive! But suggesting that you both try and get fitter together is fine - good luck!

I was 13 st 9 and am about 12.4 now, so lost more actually, i want to be about 10.4... I've been to weight watchers on and off, tried a few faddy diets that don't really work long term, but I need to just change my attitude to food, I'm a greedy piggy really and just don't control my urges to eat at all :(

need to change!

Maybe you could suggest to him that you would like if you both started eating a bit healthier and exercising so that you were both good role models for the kids.

Not focusing on looks, moreso focusing on general good health and what body type is a good role model for your little ones.

I think you need to take a little more responsibility for your own body too, you don't have weight because you had his kids, you have weight because you allowed it to creep up. Lots of people manage to have children and not put on weight.

I had my kids very close together Molly, so didn't really have a chance to looe weight inbetween,

I'm taking respsibilty now that my baby days are over. My youngest is one and my DH is having a vecsectomy so now I know I won't have anymore kids I want to get my body back, as much as I can, its pretty fooked :(

It sounds like an exercise thing for him, I found DH got quite enthusiastic about the PS3 exercise game, and DS likes joining in, so we all piss about on that together and almost expire from exhaustion it's hard to get men to do a DVD, I don't know how easy it would be to get to the gym?

He's very active, he cycles everyday, we don't own a car so we walk alot, but i think its more excercise thats they key for us,

Although I think it's a great idea to do more as a family to be active (e.g. giving each other time off to go to gym/do exercise, eat healthily and make little changes), I also think you need to be realistic. You met him in his teens, and you will not have those bodies your whole life. You have already discovered childbirth takes a toll, well men do get saggier and baggier too. I'm not suggesting you don't bother with a healthy lifestyle, it's great to look great for each other and yourselves. But please get over the washboard abs and V shape quite soon, as he won't have them at 40, or 60 or 80. People's priorities and bodies change over a long-term relationship and sometimes you have to accept that.

I understand that mumsy. but hes 27. Thats 13 years from 40! im sure he could manage a few sit ups ;)

I know what you mean, but a lot of young guys look like that as they train several times a week, it's not a natural thing they just have (a few do, most don't, I know, I used to like that look myself). If you are prepared to support him to train, and cook the right stuff, great, as you say, he's 27. But, if he's cycling every day and quite fit anyway, that tells me his natural body shape is more relaxed and not taut around the waistline. Very very few men natually have great abs, all those celebs like Peter Andre work out a couple of hours a day, and you have to decide if you want to spend family time/leisure time, which may be much more squeezed when you have a family, in pursuit of this.