Well it finally happened

[puds11]

My DP and i split up on sunday. It was a mutual decision, but i am still sad. Some of you may remeber posts i have made about our relationship, it was not good.
At the minute i am feeling anxious about how my life is going to go now, and would be greatful of advice. If you have been through this, how did it go? Are you happier now?
Also, how am i going to be able to afford my house for me and DD? I am currently a student, with one year left on my course, are there any benefits i can claim? My exDP cant offer us much, as he has no money either.
Thankyou in advance.

Make an appointment to see the SU welfare officer and find out what help might be available. If you can, get out of the house and do something nice. do you have ds today? can you arrange a play date? It is early days yet - you will have lots of ups and downs, you need to find strategies for pulling yourself back up from the downs. I found I needed to get out of the house - staying in and not achieving anything was totally demoralizing . You can do this.

I'm sorry to hear about your position and hope you can get the support you need.
Your ex-DP may not have a job at the moment but remember he does have an on-going responsibility towards his child. When he is earning he should be paying what he owes and not leaving it to others.

:(

Is it raining where you are? Crap weather always makes me feel worse.

What practical stuff do you need to do? Are you house hunting?

I'm a total list maker/planner, and find that focusing on the planning helps me feel more in control (i.e. a list of what I need to do. I'd even have a plan for where I might want furniture to go in potential new houses )

When are you meeting with your lecturer? Might it help you to focus on preparing for that to help take your mind off it?

Sorry, I obviously have no idea why you're having a bad day, or what your best coping strategies are so am just having a stab in the dark. Feel free to ignore!

Puds, re you asking about Avon, I started doing a Betterware round when me and DH were going through some tough times, there was no financial outlay and once I got my round established and people got to know me I did quite well.
It was purely commission based, so some weeks were better than others but I definately made more than my SIL who did Avon (don't know if I worked harder than her ) worth looking into if you are "short"

Good Luck !

Thanks guys. Went out with some friends last night for a drink and a girly chat, so that made me feel much better. I have my meeting with my lecturer today and am feeling very nervous.

The weather is definately putting a downer on my mood. Thanks for that info oldwoman

Had my meeting today, it went well, and my tutor was really good about everything. I'm really excited about the project now.

Good :) really pleased to hear that - you will have some very wobbly days but try to focus on getting your degree and rebuilding your life.

Thanks cat. I went to a family party last night and spent a lot of time with some very happy couples. It didnt upset me, just made me more confident that we have made the right decision, and that i want a happy healthy relationship.

I'm really chuffed for you Puds as you seem to be in a more positive place then you were last week.

Well done you x

I definately am guilty. Im still sad, but am begining to feel more positive as the days go by. My exDP and i seem to be getting on quite well at the moment which is good too.

:)

Ive been really stupid, and had sex with him last night. I dont want to be with him, but still am attracted to him sexually. We seem to be getting on much better since we split, and actually having a laugh together . What the hells going on?

Feeling blue

So Sorry, been there done that.... Makes you feel crap afterwards....

How you doing now?

Sorry to hear that you're having a down day puds.

Here's hoping for a cheerier tomorrow :)

Get onto student finance and tax credits! There's quite a lot of help, also they will fund 85% of childcare costs, however, if your claiming from SF and you are working 16 he's and therefore receiving CTC/WTC you will be entitled to very little/no help towards housing.
I am a student (last year degree) with 1 dependent.
Between a job at 16 hrs/SF And tax credits I pull out not far short of an average working wage.
Direct.gov.uk will tell you quite a lot x

If you need any more info let me know. Me and my dd's dad split up when I was a year into my course so know how it all works pretty well. Look into the ATLF as well. That can be great for the times you income isn't stretching far enough!

Thanks very much Haylebop its nice to know that people have come out the other side.
I'm feeling ok today, just really confused about the sex thing. It doesnt make me have feelings for him, but confuses me as one of the reasons he gave for breaking up was my weight gain, yet he cant seem to leave me alone now???!!!

Some of them just want it all!
My point is YOU CAN DO IT!!
If you can sort out the financial
Ties that's most of the worry dealt with. Telling u breaking up for weight gain tho is awful! I hope you find some answers!
H x

Thanks haylebop im feeling pretty strong about the whole thing. I know this is what i want, and this is what is best, but i am worried about the financial trouble ahead, and the changes to my future plans.

Everything happens for a reason and some hunk will come by and sweep you off your feet! All this will seem a distant memory!
I'm
A true believer in what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
If you have a supportive family then that's great but if u don't there are places to go and of course MN! Like I said any info I can give in regards to SF and TC Just give us a shout!

Sad again today, not about the break up, but im just not coping well with life in general. Don't really know what to do