Has anyone else rejected a marriage proposal?

[RFB]

I have recently done so and feel a bit sick. He says he understands but I can't help wondering if he feels rejected and how this will affect us?

I'm also wondering if I've done the right thing

Scared of marriage and that commitment..... anyone felt that way but taken the step anyway?

My now-DH proposed to me after I had called it off with him: he seemed to think that proposing would solve the problem that had caused me to break it off. It didn't, of course, and gave him a good shock, showed him I was serious about the problems that had made it impossible to continue (no cheating or abuse or anything, just my not having any influence over him).

Although my refusing him and his ring was a nasty surprise for him, I don't think he would have changed otherwise . It's a bit sad that I needed to fall out of love with him for him to realise he couldn't do without me, but when he did start shaping up, I did fall back in love with him.

If you are afraid to get married, or don't want to, do say no. Your word (and hand) are worth a lot: don't give them if you're not happy. It may even change things for the better.

HTH!

I would assume it was off if a proposal was rejected. I suppose it's different if you say it's too soon (and if it really is) but otherwise surely you're saying you don't want a future with him?

Interesting pluto - I have no desire to change him. It's about my issues with marriage.

Imperial that's my fear - that he will think as you have. It is possibly too soon for me, but bottom line is I don't feel 100% sure that this is it. I wouldn't with anyone else tbh. I know that is true.

He's lovely. I just cannot imagine getting married again. For me, it was for life. I failed and therefore feel nothing is for life...nothing is it and so marriage seems pointless.

Except... a little but significant part of me values it and wishes I could happily say yes.

I think you should tell him what you've just written,

If you have tried it already and it hasn't worked out, that is a really good and valid reason, which someone else can understand. It sounds as though this is very much about not wrecking a relationship over something irrelevant, so apologies for my very-unrelated narrative!

The title of your post called to me! I've rejected proposals from would-be fiances and the last time was excrutiatingly embarrassing for me

You sound as if you've taken the line of 'if it ain't broke, why fix it' and, hopefully, your significant other will come to the same conclusion.

A bit of extra tlc by way of salve for his possibly wounded pride/ego should restore your previously happy status quo.

Who knows, there may come a time when you decide that this is it and he is the one. I've discounted the possibility that I'd want to marry but, as there are no certainties in life, it's advisable to never say never.

Yep I've refused lots from 3 different men. Two I broke up with after multiple refusals, one I'm still with. He still proposes sporadically, but doesn't really think I'll say yes any more.

I just don't want to get married and therefore I don't see marriage as the foregone end point to a successful relationship.