background - bf has 3 kids who live with their mum 20miles away. bf lives at his parents but stays with me during the week then has the kids at his parents at the weekend.
the mum announced today she's pregnant and moving in with her bf in 3 months. the kids don't have a good relationship with her so are going to stay at the house and my bf will move back in with them in 3 months time when the mum moves out. he has said he wants me and ds to live with them. we have been together 7 years.
my ds goes to school here, has all his friends, has his football team, will be moving up to the local junior school in september which he's really excited about. I work local, plus i don't have a car. The house where bf and the boys will be living is small, falling apart and needs a lot of work, my ds would have to share with 2 teenagers which i don't think is fair, plus bf's ex has lived in that house for the last 8 years.
i told bf that one day in the near future when im in a better position to move away and ds is happy to move, and proper plans are put in place, then i will be able to live with him and his kids. But i don't want to be rushed into it with 3 months notice, give up my job, flat, ds's school and friends all for the sake of not having to sacrifice living apart for a while.
He told me he doesn't want to live apart and if i can't move in with him and the kids he doesn't want a long distance relationship where we don't see eachother much, and would rather split up.
im really upset but refuse to back down and sacrifice my independance and ds's happiness so easily. My idea was to live apart for as long as needs be so that i can help him do the house up that him and kids will be living in, then he can sell it and we can get somewhere between us thats big enough for us all. And that no matter how long it takes, it will be worth it in the long run and we'll be in a better position to move and ds change schools etc.
am i being unreasonable or stubborn here?