Classic signs of lying..

[arthurfowlersallotment]

Do you give them much weight?

You know the sweating, mouth covering, looking away etc.

I was talking to a friend recently about her relationship with another friend and am convinced she was lying- she was displaying all of the above- but that's all I have to go on.

I was wondering if any of you think body language is an accurate indicator of bullshit? :o

I think you're spot on there Fiven

cod psychology, stop reading daft books, if you think your friend is lying, ask her if she is lying/ tell her you are of the opinion she is lying, simples.

Just like Still squiffy, I do all of those if I feel uncomfortable talking about something. The hand over the mouth thing is because I don't want to say the words.

fiventhree- I totally understand what you're saying, but am wondering do you completely dismiss feminine intuition/ gut instincts as a pile of old woo, because its not based on anything factual?

I just read on another thread that not using contractions is a sign of lying- the poster gave the famous example of Bill clinton:" i did not have sexual relations with that woman."
I tend to go by gut instinct

Not really, Jellykat.

I think it depends on a number of factors eg

• needing proof (the most common thing said by victims)
• not wanting to believe something bad
• feeling that whilst the story 'doesnt add up', it doesnt seem like the liar to have done or said x

-the type of lie.

I dont know. Im no expert. But I was badly fooled, and I know my friends and colleagues would not have egged me for an idiot.

Actually, the fact I had been so completely taken the piss out of and believed it for so long was worse than the facts of what he had done. Many women also seem to say this same thing on mn, have you noticed?

pegged me, not egged me!

they should have egged me, tbh, for such naivety!

Ooo, slightly presumptuous of you to think i would only know how you're feeling, by way of reading other womens experiences on MN, and not from my own fiventhree, so yes i would have 'noticed' believe it or not.

Luckily although my experience involved my best friend of 14 years and DS2s father (when DS2 was only 3 months old), it was now 14 years ago. Your experience is obviously a helluva lot fresher, and i'm sorry it happened to you..

I don't think you were naive or an idiot to trust, he was a right arsewipe though, and always will be, i'd bloody guarantee it!

The body language thing can also be mistaken for nervousness and not being sure of what one is saying. It's probably a little dangerous to try and read body language unless you are trained. (You can subconsciously read it though which gives us a gut instinct for want of a better term.) I've managed hundreds of individuals over the years and you get a nose for lying based on what they say and how they say it. As an example, those calling in sick that are ill tend to just say, sorry boss, I've got an upset stomach. Those either not very ill or not ill at all tend to over egg all of their symptoms and have lots of symptoms.

They also usually trip themselves up if I stay silent and let them whitter on which is a particular trick in disciplinary meetings (and police interviews I understand.)

interesting stuff Ima!

I'm thinking that if a person can be trained to spot liars, he can also be trained to lie successfully.

Or are there always clues in the form of unconscious behaviours that will leak out and give the game away?

See the whittering on can be complete fear. (of reaction by audience)..I was hit by another car. my car side swiped right side complete length, my ex said must have been my fault...everything was... had been indicating right in queue of traffic for a side turn, guy who hit me was aiming for the junction and pulled into opposite lane..apparently i was completely unreliable as ex stood outside door through "home interview" by insurance company I was scared stiff of ex and so gabbled throughout...and guy who took side off car said I was a liar.
All this stuff is complete garbage... you have no knowledge of any signals for strangers.... only thing to completely trust is gut instinct with someone you really know...then subtle really rings alarm bells

Mercury, I think everyone is capable of lying on some level. How many of us have told a lie to protect someone's feelings as an example? I can't generalise these points, only contribute what I have personally experienced. We all react differently under certain circumstances but all I can say is based on the people I know, I generally have a radar for those not on the level partly because of their demeanor at times and partly because their stories just don't add up. I don't think it's a science.

Admira - I generally accept what people tell me as the truth unless i have had cause to distrust them. That would go for an interaction with a stranger as you have described. However, I wouldn't call it all garbage - I am ask able to post my experiences as you are and I certainly wouldn't accuse you of writing garbage, rather, I accept your points as a valuable contribution to the debate.