Dating seperated men

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Would you date a man who has been separated from his wife of 13 years but not actually divorced? The only reason he says he hasn't got divorced is he did not feel the need to. He has no feelings for her but does keep in touch occassionally for there childs sake. They had children which are now adults 19 and 25.

Do you think it would be fair to say that this is long in the past and ok to date this man?

OP I think it is a bit odd to not have divorced after so many years of being separated. There is still a significant legal entanglement that would affect future relationships.

Dionne - it would probably ease any concern if you said you were going to apply for divorce on the 5 year rule. If you said you had no plans to divorce, that would be a big red flag to me.

One of my rules of dating was never date a separated or very recently divorced guy. Not saying that this was the right thing or not for everyone, but it was one thing that kept my dating life uncomplicated along with a no children rule, and living in the same town rule

I wouldn't OP, just in case, it's not worth it.

Single or Divorced is the way to go.

No, sorry.

I once turned down my teen crush who was recently seperated even though his ex-wife urged me to go for it.I really liked him too. However, it felt like I was getting into their business and he wasn't free.

I wouldn't rule it out. It would depend on his attitude.

I dated Man One who had been divorced 6 years but was still angry and messed up. He dumped ME allegedly because I was still married (ie seperated)

Man Two was seperated two years and arranged amicable divorce on grounds of seperation after I met him. We are still together very happily. He has shown me how to get through the divorce gracefully and now I am about to do the same I hope.

I'm separated from my husband and have been for years, we have no intention of divorcing. He has a girlfriend with a child ( not his ) we have 3 children together and a divorce would complicate things with the children if one of us died ( inheritance etc ), his assets would go to me and the children and mine would go to him and the children. It's a very workable situation and tbh if his girlfriend had an issue with us not being divorced then she would have to deal with him. Our children come first but we will certainly never reconcil our relationship.

I wouldn't, only for the fact that you want commitment and he doesn't.

I started dating my (now) DH when he was separated - they were separated for 2 years before we met, closer to 5 when they got divorced. In their case it was laziness and neither of them wanting to pay out the fees .

They were divorced when we married by the way

I wouldn't get involved. I didn't want to get married again, wasn't bothered about kids, was in no hurry to buy a house but things change. In the three years since getting together DH and I have bought a house, got married and now I'm pregnant.

He was separated and divorcing (as was I) which meant his future was open to possibility. I'd have assumed that in not getting divorced he had feelings for his wife or was commitment phobic.

If you don't have the feeling that he's still emotionally involved with her, it may be ok. It'll depend on his situation.

My parents were separated for about 8 years before they got divorced; they didn't bother until Mum wanted to remarry. They'd sorted out all the assets between themselves, neither had any intention of getting back together, only communicated about me, but didn't feel the need to get divorced. I'm glad my stepdad wasn't put off by this - he and Mum have been very happy together now for over 20 years, married for 18.

I would.

Personally I have been seperated nearly five years. Me and exh just can't be arsed to actually divorce. We got the forms once and then just forgot about it.

We have lived apart all that time, and have very little contact now. We have no kids and there is no financial wrangling to be done.

Sometimes it just isn't urgent and means nothing at all.

My MIL separated from her husband in 2003. They have not lived together since, all finances are separate from them, they have completely separate lives, apart from occasional conversations about the children (who are now 18) But they are not divorced.
I asked her recently why not and she said that at first she didn;t feel strong enough to deal with it and would probably have signed anything presented to her, and then after a few years it just didn;t seem a priority. It doesn;t impact on her day to day. However, during this time she has not seen any other man, but recently she has started dating and has said that it is time for the divorce to be finalised. Not that she wants to remarry but just cos the time is now right to get it sorted. It will be a simple divorce and emotions have long gone and they have separate finances.
I think in your case i would date a man who was separated but not divorced as long as i was 100% sure he was separated and not just saying so, and i would probably be asking gently about whether divorce was forthcoming so i could suss out his intentions. I would question seeing him if he was still reluctant to sort the divorce out after all this time