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Original poster

What does the F stand for?

41 replies

HayleysCubanHeels · 02/07/2012 21:02

I've been seeing this guy from work for a while. We've been friends for a few years before that. He tells me he loves me all the time and that we are soulmates etc and I thought we were, we get on brilliantly.

We meet up off site sometimes during the day, for lunch or a drink, and the other week we met up for a picnic. It was that really brief hot spell we had in May, one thing led to another and we made love al fresco, it was all very nice. However the arrangement was for lunch.

Today I was randomly browsing his Outlook calendar and I saw that on that day he had blocked out a loooong lunch (4 hours or so) and put 3 initials which were "FLN". I am LN.

I am thinking the F stands for Fuck and that he just saw it as meeting up to fuck me rather than for a lunch. I really can't think what else it stands for. I can't even ask him because then he'll know ive been stalking his Outlook!

I don't really know what to do about this. I know I shouldn't be bothered but it does bother me. What would you think?

OP posts:

BelieveInPink · 02/07/2012 22:09

To be honest I think "randomly browsing his Outlook calendar" is more of a red flag than him and the letter f!

Of course he didn't mean fuck. Only a dick would do that. Maybe he is a dick, dunno. But I think you should dump him anyway for loads of reasons, nothing to do with f.

Original poster

HayleysCubanHeels · 02/07/2012 22:14

I randomly browse it for work reasons a bit. It's not just purely to stalk him!

Where we work, the comms are so shit that you have to rely on unorthodox methods to find stuff out, and he's quite senior so I do find out quite a bit. Also I'm just dead nosey

OP posts:

sarahseashell · 02/07/2012 22:20

I agree with the others in that if you felt secure in this relationship you wouldn't be looking to see what he'd put on his outlook about that lunch (which could easily be fort imho) and that that's the main red flag here, things like lack of trust and him messing you about with arrangements etc. Unless a fairly casual thing with him suits you, which it doesn't sound like it does? A relationship where you're checking up on him in the early stages doesn't sound great for you

sarahseashell · 02/07/2012 22:21

ps am betting you 'randomly browse' a bit more than you need to be

ImperialBlether · 03/07/2012 00:16

Has he put "F" next to any other appointment?

yellowraincoat · 03/07/2012 00:47

Pawing you when you've asked him to stop is bad. Really grim in my view.

I'd be getting rid.

Lueji · 03/07/2012 00:55

I agree with yellow.

Ex was like that while we were married and never got better.

If he is doing it now, imagine when he feels more confident.

needsomeperspective · 03/07/2012 14:01

So what if it was f for fuck. That's what you did.

And if he isn't a "boyfriend" and youve had sex loads you don't seem to have a problem with just fucking - because that's what it is isn't it.

Or do you expect him to be mentally on the "making love" page? Seems odd if so - you're not in a committed serious relationship are you.

Before a bloke gets to the I love you stage I would think fucking you would be at least ONE of the major end games of a date. In fact it would be for me too!

I suggest if you don't like being seen as a fuck you don't fuck before you're bf / gf.

This wouldn't bother me at all.

Oh and yes, freakish stalker behavior the outlook snooping.... Are you worried you're getting more emotionally involved than he is? Maybe you need to have the Talk about how he sees the relationship - as just fun (read fucking) or a potentially serious emotionally involved situation.

nickelbarapasaurus · 03/07/2012 14:03

it might just be a coincidence.

it would help if we knew what the real initials are - it could be something like code for "not available in this time" or "cancel all appointments"
that they use in his workplace.

needsomeperspective · 03/07/2012 14:04

Sorry just seen e has said ILY.

In that case he obviously just fancies the pants off you and always anticipates jumping your bones. Also very normal in the honeymoon stage.

Still don't see a problem with him anticipating a fuck. Or referring to it as such.

needsomeperspective · 03/07/2012 14:05

By the way, if he is senior an you have access to his emails does that mean you are fucking one of your bosses? I'd be careful of that if I were you.

DamselInTornDress · 03/07/2012 14:09

FLN - Friend LN?

Dropdeadfred · 03/07/2012 14:09

Perhaps the f was 'for' as in the afternoon was cleared for you?
It sounds a weird relationship to be honest

PurplePidjin · 03/07/2012 14:10

Most workplaces frown on 4 hour lunches for the sole purpose of canoodling with colleagues.

This is obviously not private if you browse it for "work purposes"

So he's added a random extra initial in order to hide what he's really doing. Why so suspicious??

MissFaversam · 03/07/2012 14:13

I'm with the ones that said just move on from him, he sounds childish and gropey.. Yuck!

AMumInScotland · 03/07/2012 14:29

It doesn't sound like you are on the same page in this relationship - that doesn't mean that either of you is in the wrong, but if you want different things out of it, then it makes it tricky to carry on happily.

FWIW If I was "seeing" a guy, and we'd had a lot of sex, then I don't think I'd be surprised if he was expecting to usually get physical. A bit presumptuous maybe, but if that's one of the main aspects of the relationship, then it may well be his focus IYSWIM?

If that's not an assumption you want him to be making, then I think you need to communicate with him about where you see this relationship leading to, as he may have no idea that you aren't meeting him specifically to fuck.

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