I just don't want to go to counselling.

[itsthequietones]

I have my 2nd counselling session today and I just don't want to go. I feel sick and scared. I wish that there was a way of sorting out my head that didn't involve me talking.

Has anyone else felt like this, if so, does it get any easier?

Sorry for posting here, I didn't know where else to put it.

How did the first session go?

Better than I'd expected to be honest. I was very nervous about going but the counsellor did put me at ease, she explained everything really well. I wasn't ready to talk about the main problem though. I find it so hard to talk about it, I just want to cry instead and not think about it and I really hate crying in front of people.
She did say that I might feel worse afterwards, and I did. Was sort of ok by Saturday.

What's putting you off going to the second session?

I sympathise. It's not easy to talk through things that you would prefer never to have to think about.

Well done on arranging counseling to begin with. That says to me that, hard as it is, you are willing to tackle these issues in order to eventually see the end of them.

Stick with it I've just started my second lot of counselling first lot I was at crisis point. It gets easier the more you talk to someone believe me.

My second session was much better than my first x

It gets better for a bit, then it dips where you feel you don't need it (I stopped going - mistake), then better again, in my experience at least.

The fact that you're scared of talking about what you need to talk about is a good sign that you should continue going, to be honest.

Your counsellor should allow you to come to the point of talking about it by yourself - not push you before you're ready. Some people can take around 2 years of counselling before they actually crack and talk about the real problem - it can take that long to break down the barriers they've constructed against dealing with it head on.

This is only your second session - but it sounds as though whatever it is that's upsetting you is doing so because it really needs to be got out there - not necessarily today, but it's bubbling just under the surface.

Be brave, go along, say only what you need to and remember that tears can be cathartic. You may hate crying in front of people but counsellors are used to it - I expect you could ask the counsellor if you could face away from them while you're talking about it, depending on the type of counsellor, they might let you.

Thank you for your kind words everyone. I know that I need to go, I really want my life and mind back.

Cailin - She might want to make me talk but I just don't want to say the words, writing it down is hard enough but saying it... I don't want to give it any more importance, I don't want it to be more real or for another person to know. I'm afraid that I won't stop crying, that I'll lose control, that she'll tell me I'm being stupid, that it was nothing and I'm over-reacting and I should just get over it.

Any counsellor worth their salt will
a) not force you to say anything
b) not tell you you're stupid
c) not undermine or belittle your experience in any way
d) understand your reticence and unwillingness to spit it out
e) allow you the time and space to deal with your situation in whatever way you need to.

But - while I can understand your feelings about not giving it any more substance than it already has - what it already has is affecting you very strongly. Currently it's a shadow hanging over you - shine the light on it and take the power of the darkness away from it. When you're ready.

Your counseller is there to listen she's not going to call you stupid I was told crying is good its a release I only started being able to cry 8 months ago before that the only emotion I had was anger now thats virtually gone. My first session was today and I feel i'll keep at it longer especially as last time sessions where anything from 2 weeks -4 weeks this counseller has said straight away she wants to see me weekly she's a private counseller recommended by my GP who knows my entire history warts and all.

I know the feeling of wanting your life back, I feel the same way but have a long way to go yet.

I have sat and cried my eyes out through both of my sessions, over big things and silly things too. Their job is to help you to get the issues out and discuss them. Your counsellor wont think you are silly.

You need to get the issue out to be able to talk about it, deal with it and move on from it so that it doesnt darken your life again. Counselling gives you tools to deal with the problem

Thank you again :)

The second session went much better. I managed to talk about a couple of painful incidents and feel much better for getting them out of the way. I still couldn't talk about the main issue, but that's fine, I'll get there. Also on the plus side I'm feeling pretty damn chirpy this morning, almost positive :)

Thumbwitch - thank you, you make a lot of sense.
Dotty, Sky, Anastasia - thank you for sharing your experiences, they've helped greatly. I wish you all well.

Glad to hear it. I've got my third session on Friday and I'm actually looking forward to it.

It really helps to talk to somebody neutral who helps me to see that what happened wasn't my fault. Or if it was, how to not fall into the same trap again.

I'm glad it went well for you. Stay positive!

Hi

If it helps I qualify next year as a counsellor, I have to go through 50 hrs of personal counselling to deal with my issues shitbag ex and to understand what it is like for others to eventually come to me in the future.

Counsellors dont have all the answers but they do have life experiences that have made them want to help the likes of you and me, this is where the empathy comes from, the theory we learn can help further on down the line when the client might want or need to know the why answers. We are products of our past our relationships and up bringing. Counselling can help us understand reasons behind actions seek out the positives and help us deal with the negatives, and maybe not create, hold on to, repeat past hurtful relationships.

all the best hun, in the beginning its all about the relationship you and your counsellor can have. its your space you make the rules.

I've had a long period of weekly group therapy. It's extremely hard work. Some weeks I looked forward to going, some weeks I felt untroubled at the thought of going, but many many weeks (by far the majority) I dreaded it, felt sick or anxious, didn't want to go.

I kept at it because I wanted to feel better and it did help, my life has changed enormously for the better because of it. Good luck!