Me me me all the time

[RoxyLady]

When my 16 month old is ill, my partner and i have noticed that all she wants is me. If i hold her she immediately stops crying. But if my
Partner does anything she will cry.
Today my partner has become really
Upset about it. And gone off sulking a few times.
He complains he isnt spending enough time because he works alot. But ive noticed wen he is home he goes and smokes in his garage/office for hours. And when he does come in he sits in the chair and doesnt get down and play with her. When i told him thks he got really angry and said he didmt want to talk about it

I think his behaviour is pathetic. Am i out of order??? Everything always seems to be about him.

She probably doesn't want to be with him if he smells of smoke.

And yes, he's pathetic.

Ive told him to quit plenty of times.

Some men seem to think that status of 'Father' should be enough to obtain positive feedback from their child and don't get it when the child does otherwise. Children reflect back how we are with them. As is true of many things in life, you get out what you put in, so if he's not trying to get to know and spend time with her then her behaviour is totally understandable. At least he cares enough to get upset about it. Next step is to get him to see that it's not her or your behaviour that is at fault but his. He needs to start bonding soon for your sake, your DD's and his or you will end up doing everything and he will will continue to resent it all.

What's he doing that's so pressing in between fags? I take it he's not just chain-smoking when been there for hours? Not talking about it is not an option, calling him pathetic will not help the situation even if he is being. He might even feel pathetic himself for having a hard time dealing with being a parent and be closing up because he doesn't want to admit his inadequacies. You have to make him see that not talking about things could lead you down the path of separation and express that this is not what you want. Sounds like he needs support to deal with the role. Try to avoid picking at things he does or doesn't do. If you can find a way to help him feel included it may help him stop isolating himself further. My advice would be don't get angry, get supportive. If nothing improves despite your best efforts an ultimatum may be enough to shock him unless he's the type to give up easily on things

Once a child comes along, some men feel side-lined and withdraw thinking that the love you had for them has been replaced by your child making them feel rejected and obsolete and the less sex they get at time confirms this in their brains - yes, it's in their pants. Thick, but it happens.

open that applies to some women as well.

But yes if he expects her to her have the same bond as she has with you, then HE needs to put effort in.
I work ft and dh works in the evening, our kids have a similar bond with both of us as we both give equal care. Although the youngest still always comes to me when he isn't well. Just one of those things. With the eldest it differs. Sometimes its me sometimes its dh.

Exactly. Things have got quite bad. This morning he went to change her nappy after i had asked him and she started crying. He looked at me. Said "see"
When i told him she was like that with me too because she is ill he wemt to walk out of the room and slapped the wall. I absolutely blew up at him and he says im a vicious cow.
Not sure i want to be in this relationship. I havent really got over him kissing a work collegue and finding very intimet texts between them just a week after having our baby.