Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So unsure which direction to take.

9 replies

starsandsky · 01/07/2012 11:37

I am 47 and first went out with dh when I was 15, had an on off relationship with him during my teens when I was besotted with him! At 18 I moved in with him and we eventually married, and have two ds 17 and 18. In all that time dh has worked away on the oil rigs so I mostly have looked after the 2 ds on my own. Dh is now 52 and when he was 40 I asked him to stop working offshore. He said that is what I did when you met me, so get over it because he couldn't be tied down to a normal life.
We have always had all of the money we want, and I also work part time just because I want my own idependence. We rent property out and have fantastic holidays.
However I am so lonely and unhappy, especially since the ds have got older. 3 years I had an emotional affair just after my dad died. I couldn't live with it and confessed to dh, he was gutted but wanted me to stay so I did. I have tried so hard to be happy and settled down. When I confessed my affair and he asked if I wanted to stay, a tiny part of me screamed no, but I felt I should.
Since then he has carried on working away and is away 3 weeks at a time. He is now going to get a promotion, even more money and would eventually be working abroad, and I could fly out there and see him if he was away a long time and he would spend some weeks at home. That would be my life.
I haven't wanted to have sex with him for a long time. I just don't feel like that any more about him. I cry after sex sometimes am so sad about that. But I think if I stay my boyshave their home, are happy and their dad is here sometimes.
I have been attracted to someone else for the past couple of years but we were both married. His marriage has broken up and he is now free, and part of me just wants to go for it. I am aware the grass isn't greener and it could all go wrong but how will I ever know if I stay here? I have no idea about divorces and money. I only have a little part time job. I am aware you don't leave for someone else, I have never been free in my life. What on earth do I do?

OP posts:
tb · 01/07/2012 12:03

Perhaps have some counselling on your own. It would help you sort out your feelings and work out what you really want. Once that is clear, it would then be 'just' a question of whether you felt brave enough if you wanted to 'go for it'.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/07/2012 12:04

You've had a long time to think about this, it's hardly some snap decision. Unlike a lot of other people you've also had plenty of chances to experience independence so you know you can cope alone. Your DH knows that you're not happy, has had the opportunity to spend more time at home but chosen not to. Your sons are used to Dad not being around and, as young men, must be on the verge of leaving home soon anyway... I doubt they would stand in your way if you explained how you felt.

As my best mate is fond of saying 'life's not a rehearsal'. It's never easy to start over but if the alternative is to be miserable for the next 20, 30 years, that's no way to live. Good luck whatever you decide.

Guiltypleasures001 · 01/07/2012 12:06

What you do is what makes you happy, in a couple of years your kids maybe at uni, left home have families of their own, and you will still be there at home alone with an empty nest so to speak.

Your husband has alreasy made his life, and seems quite content with it, I wonder what he gets out of this arrangement? The fear of leaving and change might be the biggest reasons for not taking the steps you feel you want to make.

You have done your duty, raised two i assume great boys, kept hearth and house together and played the dutiful wife. Now you are at a cross roads and at a certain age I assume not to far off your husbands, how much longer do you suppose you can procrastinate over your future, and even worse when it comes to his and your retirement, are you going to have anthing in common anymore, and how much is he going to get on your nerves, once he is back full time.

The thing is you dont hate or dislike him, he isnt I assume a bad man or abusive, its just that you live seperate lives, literally. The only thing thats left in common is having the same front door key.

Sit down and have an honest and frank discussion both with yourself and your dp, dont stay for the kids sake, I wouldnt factor them in to the descision to be honest, because they have their own lives now, and only require a bed and a fridge so to speak. As for the other guy, the fact you are thinking about it, shows how desperate you are to make something of your time and life right now.

I wouldnt do anything with him, and if your dp found out might damage your financial position if you did split up. if you decided to split amicably is the wa to go, throw in anger and resentment to the mix, it's a recipe for disaster.

It did occur to me as well to be honest, whether he has anyone else stashed away some where, which is the reason he is so easy going about everthing.

all the best

starsandsky · 01/07/2012 12:30

I am going to counselling Wednesday. dh is away for another 2 weeks. I know he loves me so much. When he is home he waits for me to finish work and comes with me wherever I g.He has no hobbies. I go to the gym and he runs my bath for me and cooks my dinner! However when he is away I don't really think about him and this other man is someone I would just like to spend time with and not feel guilty. I may leave my marriage and see him for a while and then be on my own I just don't know.
If I stay I can give up work and travel, we were going to go to Hawaii for a month and stay in the hilton! This other man has health problems and no money but I find him interesting and am drawn to him.
If this man wasn't in the picture I would have probably stay. Whether he is the catalyst I don't know. But at least I would be free to give it a go.

OP posts:
Pickgo · 01/07/2012 12:43

Why not try and improve things with your DH first?

OK he's not going to change job, but are there more things you could to reconnect anyway? Skype, email, travel near for weekends? If money is not an issue there are surely lots of possibilities?

The grass is always greener... and the other guy doesn't sound a bundle of laughs. Wink

Wait for couselling to be completed and some time after to settle down, then decide.

starsandsky · 01/07/2012 12:56

Dh is on an oilrig and he does phone regularly. However well we get on, he then goes away for 3 weeks, that is a long time to regularly be on your own. Also I just do not want to have sex with him, I feel like he doesn't know me any more, that really depresses me.

OP posts:
lowprofiler · 01/07/2012 13:08

I think it's hard to maintain a long distance relationship and stay close to someone who is away a great deal. It's difficult to stay close intimately and grow together so totally understandable the sex side of things has suffered. I know this from my own experience. I think counselling is a good idea and as you don't have financial worries, try and get a good therapist and have some one-to-one time, getting objective advice and working out what you really want to do. If you decide to try and rekindle the spark in your marriage then you could try couple counselling although it sounds like it will be hard to pin down your dp. Don't allow fear of the future to put you off. Just tap into your heart and instincts and tune into what you really want in your life and if it means breaking free then so be it. Your children will be fine. Your happiness is important.

starsandsky · 01/07/2012 13:12

I think the sex thing is part guilt, because I think about other people sometimes. Also he just doesn't do it for me anymore. I am trying to get my head round if this man wasnt about would I want to leave. Am so scared about all of this.

OP posts:
claudedebussy · 01/07/2012 13:20

i don't think this om is the catalyst at all, i think he's a crutch when your dh is away.

the real issue is that your dh isn't around enough.

you've told him. he won't compromise.

so where to go from here?

perhaps a trial separation might be a good idea. try out the idea of being apart. perhaps your dh will realise that he'd rather have you than an oil rig. maybe you won't miss him at all. maybe you'll realise that the time you do get with him is enough for the time being.

however, i think it's in your dh's blood, this need to go away and sit in the middle of the sea for weeks at a time. i can't see that he'd be happy giving it all up and he'd take the resentment out on you.

ultimately i think only you can decide whether you can carry this on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page