Big physical fight with DH

[JarDealing]

Well tbh I've been depressed about going back to work so I cried and got upset tonight.

He got fed up of it, anyway I apologised for crying and we went to bed.

In bed he started making up lies about me, basically saying I had said things that we should do that I actually hadn't. He is the decision maker and I go along but he was trying to make out like I'd made the decision because it suited him

So we lay in bed arguing and hitting each other so I got up and went to the spare room. He followed me and as I was taking things off the bed he was rowing with me and saying it was all because I was scared about going back to work. But he was lying about me!!

So we hit each other some more and then he went downstairs.

I don't know what to do now.

If this is your idea of a good Saturday night, why don't you go and hit him some more?

FGS you're fully grown adults. What's with the hitting? Do you have dc?

You need to be apart. Adults in a relationship do not hit each other!

I'm about to go to sleep but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I know others will be along.

Are you physically hurt? You may not be able to tell if you're in shock. I think at minimum you will need checking over at Out of Hours or A&E tomorrow.

Do you think you are in physical danger tonight? Although it sounds as if you were both hitting, the likelihood is that he can hurt you more easily than you can hurt him. One of you may need removing from the situation for the safety of both.

Women's Aid's helpline is open 24 hours a day. Please keep safe, keep posting.

When you say hit what exactly do you mean? Slaps! Punches? Are you both initiating this? Have you always had physical fights or is this new? Do u have kids?
I know everyone says if it's physical you should leave but it's not always that clean cut however the way you relate it sounds down played which is why I'm wondering if it's a regular thing for you...

Is anyone hurt?
Do you have children in the house?
Do you feel safe staying in the house tonight?

You may be scared about going back to work but I've got the distinct impression that you're not scared of him.

Is he your dh or dp? Are you returning to work after illness or maternity leave?

Are you depressed about going back to work because you don't like your job or because it means that you'll be away from dc?

OP, this is a nightmare situation if you have children. Hitting each other? What exactly do you mean by this? Slapping, using fists? Do you have DC?
I hope to God you don't. What must be running through their little minds if they see or hear you two?

Are you ok, Jar?

Who hit first?

It's not healthy if he is lying/gaslighting and following you when you remove yourself from the fight.

One thing's for sure - we've got about 1% of the real story here.

Op - come back and post. Does your dh hit you regularly? Has it escalated and now you hit back? Or have you always had a mutually physically abusive relationship? Do you thrive on the drama and adrenalin rush of the rows and the 'hitting'? Or is this what your parents were like or his parents were like - hitting/rowing - so it's your model of a normal relationship? It would be good for you to let this all out and get some support and advice here - and in RL obviously.