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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

would you tell your friend

9 replies

krispykritter · 29/06/2012 18:33

who met her boyfriend on a dating site that he is still on there. she is loved up, he claims to be yet there he is...

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 29/06/2012 18:35

I'd say I noticed he'd not got round to taking his profile off yet.

Dprince · 29/06/2012 18:38

Is he actually using it. How do you know he is still on there? Why were you looking?
I would make sure I was absolutely correct that he is still using the dating site to meet women before I said anything. Otherwise she may accuse you of shit stirring.

Kernowgal · 29/06/2012 18:42

It usually says when they were last active - this will tell you whether he's just forgotten to deactivate/cancel it.

TidyDancer · 29/06/2012 18:48

How long have they been together? He might not have deactivated his profile on there.

Mumsyblouse · 29/06/2012 18:50

I'd be very surprised if she hasn't checked it herself, usually if people meet online, they look to see if the person has deactivated, gone on hold or changed their relationship status as a sign of being more committed.

FiftyShadesOfTripe · 29/06/2012 19:32

I would try and check out whether he is still active first before I mentioned it. Could be what someone else said and he has forgotten to take his profile down.

Why were you checking him out? Do you have suspicions about him?

ImperialBlether · 29/06/2012 19:44

The OP might be on the same site, for all anyone here knows! Why accuse her of anything?

Dprince · 29/06/2012 19:55

Imperial who is accusing its a valid question. One the friend may ask if she tells her and he proves he hasn't used it. It would also indicate if the OP already had reservations about him and why she did.
Or the OP may admit to just bring nosey and likes to overly involve herself in others relationships in which case her friend wouldn't want to her opinion, perhaps. Lots of reasons that it is a question, not an accusation.
She may be a caring friend who stumbled on the info, a caring friend who suspected or interfering.
its helps form an opinion.

ImperialBlether · 30/06/2012 19:45

Oh I know that, DPrince, but I was reacting to these comments:

Why were you checking him out?
Why were you looking?

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