Splitting up from partner

[Bromleymum12]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to mumsnet so excuse me if i'm not 100% offay about the protocol. Anyway you come highly recommended from a friend so I thought I'd reach out to get some advice.

My partner and I have agreed to split up, we have 2 dear children and a house together. I would ideally like to make the split as amicable as possible without third party interference (I.e solicitors) but I'm worried that I will be in absolute financial dire straits if I don't get any financial support from him. Do I have any rights? Is it possible that he might be able to contribute to my housing costs (i.e part of the deposit for instance) if I am going to be the children's main carer.

Has anyone got any advice or been through something similar?

Thanks in advance

If you're not married your legal rights are extremely limited.

Is the house/mortgage in joint names? Would it realise a profit if it were sold?

Has he offered to provide any financial support over and above child maintenance ?

I did think as much in terms of my legal rights, but I did think he at least has a duty of care in terms of the welfare of his children. I would like to think there is some sort of law that helps protect them.

The mortgage is in both our names and we do have a fair bit of equity but my concern is that if we split the proceeds 50/50 I'm still not going to be able to afford a property and will be unable to financially cope as their primary carer.

If I had a magic wand I would hope he might put some money aside to help with their/mine housing costs. I don't want to take the money off him I just want to put it in some kind of 'trust' as a contribution that helps house them until they have finished full time education. They are 6 and 8 by the way.

By the way he hasn't offered anything over and above child maintenance.

Do I stand any sort of chance?

This thread has links to various websites that has practical advice in the event of a separation not just for those that are married.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1506216-Friends-marriage-is-ending-how-to-support-her

I would say it is highly unlikely you will get any extra money from him apart from the legally required child maintenance. If you find a home to rent you may get housing benefit to help with costs, but this would only be if you have savings of less than £16K. Any savings you have between £6K and £16K will effect how much housing benefit you are entitled to on a sliding scale.

Thanks for the input. The link you provided ebbandflow has been very useful. I haven't given up totally on the idea that he might help out but of course that depends on how amicable we are when separating.

If things don't work out however does anyone know if mediation is a good way of moving forward in terms of sorting out the tricky negotiations we have to navigate regarding access to children and financial arrangements. Or does it have to involve a solicitor.

Thanks again