My son is now 19 months old, and sinc ei found out i was pregnant his Dad hasn't really been around. We split up almost the instant i found out i was pregnant. I was quite happy with it, as i didn't want us to stay together just because we were having a baby. After my son was born i started seeing someone i had known for quite a while, we ended up dating for you and then i fell pregnant. I was extremly worried as he really doesn't like or want children (i know, he shouldn't be dating someone with a child...ill get on to that haha) when it old him he said 'i'm sorry i can't be a Dad, i never want to be. I love you, but i just can't.' I feel so horribly alone, it came down to a horrible and unthinkable choice. I had to try and choose wether to have a termination to keep my partner, or keep the baby at the risk of never seeing him again. A few days later i actually miscarried, and it broke my heart. I think i would have chosen to keep the baby. When i told my partner he was lovely and looked after me but i was sort of angry at him. I couldn't get past the fact he was just going to walk out of my life. I really love him, almost too much, but i know we shouldn't have been together. He doesn't have much to do with my son, he doesn't mind him but he is just so clueless when it comes to children and has no interest in being around them. We decided it would be best to break up, i said he had to either start building a relationship with my son or we ouldn't stay together. It totally broke my heart, it was the hardest thing to hear and i couldn't stop crying. We have stayed amazing friends and we talk so ofter, but everytime i see him i just was to cry. I want to get over him, and i don't know if i can do that with him in my life still...but the idea of not seeing him, not talking to him is horrifying. I don't know what to do. I have probably painted quite a bad picture of him, he honestly is the most caring and wonderful guy i have ever met, it just happens to be he has an almost fear of children. I don't know what to do, if it's best to not see and talk to him anymore and move on with my life, but feel the horrible pain everytime i want to talk to him knowing i can't. Or, i could try staying friends with him knowing one day he'll start seeing someone else, and that even until then everytime i say goodbye to him it physically hurts. I know this all sounds pathetic, please don't judge me...i'm just so lost.