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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you take it in turns with DH/DP to get up with the kids at weekends?

52 replies

sandyballs · 27/02/2006 15:36

We used to but I've suddenly realised that for the past few weeks it has always been me. This weekend just gone he emerged at about 10.30am on Saturday (I had been up since 6.30) and yesterday I stomped in there at 9.00 and woke him. I know he works hard and he is also studying at college two nights at week but I also work hard (3 days a week) and sort the kids/house out the rest of the time. It just feels very unfair, but when we discussed it yesterday he didn't seem to think it was. I'm fed up with coping with the girls on my own every single morning, a bit of help at the weekend shouldn't be too much to ask surely.

OP posts:
Soopermum1 · 28/02/2006 23:10

it's sort of 50/50 depending on who's most tired but i do admit we have resorted sometimes to making a bottle, sticking on the thomas the tank engine dvd and popping back to bed for another half an hour til ds (aged 2) gets lonely and pulls the covers off of us to get us out of bed

AntheaTurnerPuff · 28/02/2006 23:15

We don't take turns as such, but it works out pretty balanced and dh has ds1 and 2 while I go off on jaunts with mates for weekends (he never does).

meggmoo · 28/02/2006 23:32

Yep, Saturday is my lie in (bliss - can't believe we didn't think of it earlier) unless dh is ill, in which case he'll milk it for as long as he can.

pebblemum · 01/03/2006 00:17

I wish. My dh seems to think every day is his day for a lie in. Fair enough during the week he works til 1am so he sleeps late on weekdays but even on Sunday it is me who gets up at 6.30am with DS2. Even when i am ill i get harrassed by him and DS2 whereas when dh is in bed I keep everyone out of the bedroom.

Lately it has all started to catch up with me. During the week I dont go to bed until dh gets in. I have tried going to bed earlier but when he comes in he will deliberatly wake me up and I end up watching tv with him, if I dont get back up he annoys me until i give in, then once i am up and wide awake he goes and falls asleep leaving me sat there like a lemon. Most days it is about 2 before i go to sleep then I am up again at 6.30. I used to be able to survive on 4hrs sleep when i was younger, coming in from a club then up a few hours later for college but now it kills me and im only 28. To make things worse DS2 can climb out of his cot so there is no escape once he is up.

Dh never used to wake up when DS2 ws a baby either, in fact he missed the first four hours of labour because he was fast asleep while i was pacing the floor in agony then he had the cheek to tell everyone how quick it was Angry

Might surprise dh one day and bugger off for the weekend leaving him to deal with the early mornings maybe then he will appreciate me more ha ha

meggmoo · 01/03/2006 09:57

PM, you're not happy with the situation, your dp is really taking the piss. Do something about it.

I wish I had said something earlier but I used to do everything until something had to give and got very ill and dh had no choice but to look after our very young and demanding ds (he wasn't a good day sleeper and wouldn't be put down) after about 3 days my dh was at the point of tears and could not believe how hard it was and that was before he'd factored any housework into it too! He is brilliant now but I have to say fortunate too as ds is now a sleep monster and rarely gets up before 9.30-10am on a weekened.

meggmoo · 01/03/2006 09:57

PM, you're not happy with the situation, your dp is really taking the piss. Do something about it.

I wish I had said something earlier but I used to do everything until something had to give and got very ill and dh had no choice but to look after our very young and demanding ds (he wasn't a good day sleeper and wouldn't be put down) after about 3 days my dh was at the point of tears and could not believe how hard it was and that was before he'd factored any housework into it too! He is brilliant now but I have to say fortunate too as ds is now a sleep monster and rarely gets up before 9.30-10am on a weekened.

coppertop · 01/03/2006 10:07

Dh gets up first on a Saturday morning. When I get up he takes ds2 into town. Ds1 used to go too but has now decided he'd rather stay at home. On a Sunday I get up first.

saltire · 01/03/2006 10:19

Since Ds1 was born, dh has a Saturday and i have a sunday, and at the risk of sounding smug, he is really good at sticking to it as well. There have been odd Sundays when i know we aren't doing anything and i have slept until gone 12

NorfolkTurkey · 01/03/2006 17:24

I have the kids the bulk of the time but that is because of the shifts that my DH works. When he has his rest days, he takes full control of the kids and I normally escape up to London for a little bit of 'me time' which normally involves retail therapy!

notasheep · 01/03/2006 20:02

dp would sleep all morning if he could and then go to the pub.Selfish man

morningpaper · 01/03/2006 20:05

I get up first at weekends to give him a lie-in because DH does it all through the week. He likes the early mornings spending time with the little ones before work.

yomellamoHelly · 01/03/2006 20:12

I get ds up every day. If we're not doing any thing at the w/e I'll ask for a lie-in one morning. If we're doing any thing, or if dh has been to the pub the night before or is feeling ill or stressed out he'll have 2 lie-ins. In that case I sometimes try and escape during the day for a kip. Ds has gotten so used to me getting him up that when dh does do it I can hear him saying "mummy" again and again!

MerlinsBeard · 01/03/2006 20:13

Angry no hes a lazy &^(%. I get up every single day with the boys coz if i can actually wake DP up by the time he has got to the children who r by now both screaming. he is instantly on the computer and they run around screaming for breakfast so i end up egtting up anyway.

hes another that stays up on his laptop till the wee hours.

I get a lie in on the mornings that he has a gig to do in the evening (did that make sense?) because i told him in no uncertain circumstmaces that that was what was happening!

jac34 · 01/03/2006 20:28

Our boys are 7yo so DH and I have a lay in together.They come and get us if they want anything.They will play in their room or downstairs, but usually make too much noise for us to go back to sleep,but then whats the point of laying in together if your going to go back to sleepWink

Orinoco · 01/03/2006 22:52

HA!

Passionflower · 01/03/2006 23:18

Ha! DH did both mornings last weekend! But that was only because I had a go at him the previous week about the fact that I do everything on school mornings whilst he gets up at 7.45 for a leisurly breakfast (studiously ingoring the havock) and a stroll to work.

Usually I get up on sat and he gets up on sun (likes to have an early brekkie so he can go for a run at 9.00)

Some morning we stick DD's in front of cartoons with their breakkie and go back to bed! Wink

spidermama · 01/03/2006 23:21

My dh does it every time because I'm awake a couple of times in the night feeding the baby.
I hate getting up early. I'd rather do the night shift any time.

Which is bizarre considering my new job requires me to start work at 5.15AM five mornings a week. Shock

skerriesmum · 02/03/2006 01:52

Ha! No way, I always get up with ds. To the point when the once in a blue moon that dh does it, ds wails for me!

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/03/2006 01:56

we take it in turns nearly every single day.

I'm getting up tomorrow (yes I know it's nearly 2am Blush), then he's getting up on Thursday. Occasionaly, depending on what nights I'm working, he'll have 2 in a row, then I'll have 2 in a row. But we each get 7 lie-ins a fortnight Grin

spangles · 03/03/2006 20:44

Im the same as sherriesmum.. I always get up with kids and when DH does get up with them he takes a blanket downstairs and curls up on sofa. DS2 (20 mths) cries for me. I feel rotten asking DH to get up coz he works and I am a SAHM... I also get up several times a night to DD ( 8 wks) to feed her and to DS2 who is only just over the last few wks sleeping through. I think I am used to the lack of sleep now. But when DH does get up with kids he spends the rest of the day yawning

DissLocated · 03/03/2006 20:51

DH gets up 3 mornings per week, I do the other 4. I'm a SAHM too Spangles, doesn't mean you don't need your sleep.

Abirosie · 03/03/2006 20:53

I am sorry but i am a lazy cow and do try and get out of it. My hubby is great though, and just gets up, i do feel guilty though as he gets up during the weekday earlier than me too. I work every day 25 hrs a week. I should take my turn and probably will tomm morn.

snowleopard · 03/03/2006 21:03

Yes we do, and he hates it! But he does it and not only do I get a lie-in, I think it's great for him to spend that time with DS (he doesn't mind being with DS, it's the having to get up he hates). It is the one time he feeds him, plays with him and talks to him alone for several hours solid.

BonyM · 03/03/2006 21:21

We don't officially take turns - whoever is least tired gets up. What tends to happen though is that whoever didn't get up the previous day, does it the following day (unless ill) to give the other one a rest.

My ex-h never ever got up with dd1 (one of the reasons I left the selfish, lazy git). My dh now is the complete opposite and does everything he can to make my life easier, which makes me want to reciprocate.

harpsichordcarrier · 03/03/2006 21:23

yes, I get up on a Saturday, dh on a Sunday
can't bloody wait Smile
would do the night shift any day

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