Thought about changing my name for this one but haven't.
When I was 17, I was a member of a church youth group. There was a leader of the youth group who was a Reader at the church I went to - not an ordained person, but involved in various aspects of the church.
There was a weekend away that I went on and on one of the nights, lots of us were sleeping in one room. This person was in a bunk bed near to where I was sleeping on the floor. I remember holding hands with him during the night. When we came back from the weekend, he kissed me (we were the only ones in the minibus by then).
I can't remember exactly how it came out, but my "friends" at school found out somehow and rather than talking to me, talked to a teacher. When my parents found out they were cross rather than supportive - I never have really talked to them about it. I remmeber sitting in lessons at school (in Lower 6th) just feeling nothing and as I was a person with few friends anyway, the fact that my 2 friends weren't talking to me didn't help.
The "relationship" carried on for two years, until I went to university. Nothing more than kissing happened physically, but emotionally it did.
I have (and am being) treated for depression and have spojen to various counsellors etc but have never been able to talk about this. I'm not sure why - I think it's because it must have been my fault in part, although it was more him wasn't it? He was in his mid 50s at the time.
DH knows all about it (in fact, it was one of the first things he knew about me as I unloaded it all to him in our first week at university). I am sure that had I not stopped the whole thing, more would have happened. I hate thinking about that.
Not sure why I am posting this, but I've been trying to for some time and wanted to get it out of my system so to speak.