Alcoholic H. Don't know what to do

[Cluffyfunt]

Hi,
I've posted under name changes about my H and his nasty behaviour whilst drinking.

He has finally admitted that he has a real problem and hates himself for letting alcohol take over so much of his/our family's lives.

He has done some awful things to me whilst drunk.
I have pointed out to him that he is still responsible for his behaviour and can't blame everything on the drink -he agrees.

I don't know where to go from here.
He doesn't think the aa are for him, but wants to do something proactive.

I've no experience of addiction (before this) and am at a loss

I love my H and want us to work, he just needs to stop drinking and I don't know how to help/support him.

I don't think the OP should waste any more time chasing around trying to find solutions. Is the DH on websites asking 'how can I stop drinking?' do we think?... Alcoholism is entirely his problem to address, own and resolve and he needs to start taking responsibility. The OP can solve her problem very quickly by showing this man the door.

Of course its his problem to address but in the OP's own words

I love my H and want us to work, he just needs to stop drinking and I don't know how to help/support him. She obviously wants info that could help him.

What is a waste of time for some, is not for others. While I don't agree she should stay in this situation forever, especially not with DC to consider. It's still a hard thing to do - just ending it. People are not usually alcoholic just because they fancy being so.
Respect to you OP for still wanting to help him but make your own rules, be strong and if he crosses your lines then you must enforce the consequences or the destruction will continue xx

cogito - i agree that the dh should be helping himself but they are married, its very early yet for anyone 'to be shown the door'! i will be eternally grateful that my dh showed me so much love, compassion and support! like the OP, he wasnted very much to make our marriage work, he could see past the alcoholism and knew me for the person i truely am, not the one the drink made me become.

OP, i wish you both so much luck, its a bloody hard job that you both face, it isnt easy but it can be done!

Well done Jesus, I sincerely mean that, it's definitely not an easy path to follow xx