Can you make it work after a split?

[mama2moo]

Exdp and I split up in January. We have 2 dds.

We are talking about possibly trying again. I think the time apart has really helped us to work out what we want and where we went wrong. Me especially.

Can it work after a separation?

Of course it could work - there is no formula.
But there is a saying round here that goes "an ex is an ex for a reason."

i think it would depend on why you split up and whether BOTH of you are EQUALLY realistic and determined to work things out.

If you decide to give it a go then I wish you all the best (and if you don't ditto...live long and well)

I know a very happy couple who got back together after a divorce and 2 year split. They say it made them understand and appreciate each other in a way they had not before.

Depends on why you split and the people involved.
Dh and I split for 6 months when we had been together 8 years and married 6. We got back together, no intention when we split, things have been better than ever. We had our second child and both feel like this is a new marriage. Its completely different and we wanted from a marriage. He is my best friend.
We let everyday mundane things get in the way of us and our dd. We were in a rut and argued alot.
Splitting was the best thing that happened to us. I now can't believe how different that first 8 years was to now. It took us both being honest and open about what we wanted and how we felt. But there was nothing major that happened.

Forgot to say we have been back together 4 years.

There wasnt anyone else involved on either side. We just drifted apart and I couldnt split myself between 3 people.

I think the split has made me realise where I went wrong.

Thanks everyone. I hope we can make it work.

Has the split made him realise where he went wrong as well? I assume this wasn't all your fault.
That was the part of our reconciliation that made it work. With both accepted some responsibility for what happened and made a plan to move forward. We were clear about our needs/ wants and what we felt we could do to meet the others needs/ wants.

My H and I have been separated since the end of last year (7 months or so) and he would like to try again. I am really hanging back though. I'm getting totally mixed messages - one minute he's wanting money to buy another house/i don't give him any encouragement/positive feedback etc etc. Next he really misses us and loves me and wants to be here for me.

I'm feeling very confused about it all.

How have you got to the point of wanting to try again?

Who instigated the separation? Will it be held against you in the future?

I think me having the time to think about things without him here has made me want to try again. I know that I struggled when I had the girls and all of my time went into them. Now that he has moved out I have changed my job so am working day time hours (previously weekend and evening work), the girls are in a great routine and I have time now.

I know it wont be easy but I know that we have to forget all the bad that has happened. He is thinking about it at the moment. Not sure what his response will be but.

If he does agree then it will be taken very slowly and the girls wont know about it for a long time.