My 6 yo god-daughter's parents are separating; is there anything I can do which would help her?

[AmINearlyThereYet]

A friend of mine, whom I've known for ages but no longer see very often, has just separated from her husband. It is amicable, but has happened very suddenly. There are three DCs: 9, 8 and 6; the youngest is my god-daughter. I only see the children a few times a year so I'm not close to them, but they know who I am and always are polite enough to pretend to be pleased to see me. I'm closest to the eldest because she and I like doing things together.

I'm looking for advice as to what (if anything) I can/ should do for my god-daughter in this situation. Do I write to her? To all of them? Do nothing to avoid cutting across the parents? I feel I should do something - after all, one of the purposes of godparents is (imo) to "be there" when life gets difficult. I don't want to ask my friend, because she has enough on her plate, and I don't want to send a present because that seems crass and anyway the parents aren't short of money - if presents would help, the parents will buy them.

Thanks

Keep up your usual frequency and style of contact. When children's lives are disrupted what helps most IME is continuity. Good old aunty AmINearlyThereYet still sending £10 in an envelope for birthdays, taking them for tea and buns twice a year or whatever it is you normally do. If you start acting out of character and making too big a fuss, the children are likely to worry that there is something really wrong.

That is very useful, thank you.

I think it's lovely that you're being there for them in this situation -it'll be great for them to have someone outside of the family to just know you're there - how about a visit or taking them for a day out?

Firstly, what a lovely godparent you are. My daughter (15) is going through hell at the moment. But at least you say it is amicable (mine is not) and so all she will need is some giggles and life to be normal. 6 is very young and will preserve her in some ways.

Yes, sticky buns and little treats sounds the idea of heaven when you are 6.

Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I won't write to them (it would freak them out), but I'll visit and take them out to tea. :)

You have had some really good suggestions.

If the Mum is ok then the kids are ok. I would therefore add that you should make yourself available to the Mum either for a shoulder to cry on when times are tough, or just company when the dcs are away with Dad for the weekend or whatever. The dcs will see that you are a good friend to their Mum and that will help them too.

My DS is older but he has had great support from his godmother since his Dad left. Like the other posters have said not extra or special contact but just to say are you ok, and a hug when here.

When doubts are flying about being loved or secure that sort of thing is very nice at any age.