How do you do grown-up's birthdays in your family?

[gawkygirl]

We aren't very close as siblings - neither emotionally nor geographically. We can go for months without making contact so on birthdays, as well as sending a card, I also phone up to have a chat.
I had a birthday over the weekend. I have had cards in the post but no-one has actually spoken to me.

What is the norm in your family?

Is it now up to me again to phone to say thank you for the card?

With siblings in our family, you stop getting gifts at birthdays/xmas once you have kids. At Xmas, my little brother and his wife got a present but my older brother and SIL didn't because I bought for their daughter (my niece). Next year neither will get because they both have kids, just my niece and nephew will get gifts. I don't get from either, because I have kids.

Maybe a text or FB message to say Happy Birthday (I always do, my younger brother normally does, my older brother seldom does).

Am interested in this thread - have sometimes wondered this myself.

I have one sibling - we get each other cards always. We don't do presents. We are quite close and see eaxh other a couple of times a month. I always buy my parents bday presents, my DH too, and a couple of close friends. I don't send cousins or aunts/ uncles cards. I have 7 sets of aunts and uncles - 1 still buys me bday presents and Xmas presents each year and I wish they would stop - I find it awkward. This aunt also was a bit miffed (and said so) when my mum only sent her eldest daughter (so mum's neice, one of 12 neices/ nephews) a card on her 24th bday,. Surely bday gifts from aunts and uncles should not keep going into adulthood??

I'm not really talking about giving/receiving gifts, I'm talking about making contact - not a card or a text or a FB message but a conversation. Is it too much to expect?

Sorry raven - I was replying to curiosity not you. My moan was about sibling-to-sibling relationships.

I agree that gifts from aunts to adult DN are not necessary.

My family tend to be a bit all over the place. My Dad lives in Ireland so he sends a card and will phone. My Mum will either send a card or come and see me on the nearest weekend. My brother will usually pop over at some point too. Other relatives send cards and my Nan might ring on the day.

So, I do get cards/gifts for my birthday but often on the nearest weekends rather than on the day itself and lateness is never a concern. On the day itself, generally not much contact other than a few phone calls and FB msgs.

I think people usually will assume that I am busy with my DH and kids on the day itself and don't want to disturb.

Don't have siblings. DH used to send cards to his db and dsis, and his dsis sent them to him. His db never did. Now that he doesn't speak to either of them, he neither gets nor receives cards. There were never any phone calls.

Just cards for us. I have a DB who I get along with but a combination of his peculiar job and the fact we live very far apart means that phone-calls are rare.

I have 2 brothers and do a card and present for their birthdays & their wives' birthdays (normally a £20 voucher for somewhere). Neither of them have children. They normally do the same for me and DH. I normally text them on their birthdays but don't usually get text or call from them.
DH has 2 brothers and 3 sisters with 8 children between them. His siblings get a card and a phone call. Nieces & nephews get card and money or present.

In DH family, he send a card, no present and no phone call. His sis does the same for him.
They are not close and see each other every few months, usually when one of the kids have a b'day party or because their mum has invited everyone.

In my family,... I don't have siblings but we don't send cards to each other (parents). we will give a tel call on the day if we remember. We might organize a meal as a family (the b'day just been an opportunity iyswim) but not every year.
However, we are very close and see each other at least once a week. And tel conversation in between.
B'days are just not something that we see as important.

My siblings do cards for each other. Neices and Nephews are late teens so get a card and money from us. DS is 19mo so he gets loads of pressies from everyone

It's DM's birthday today - was expecting to spend the day with her today, take her presents/cards over, go out somewhere, perhaps for lunch or this afternoon for coffee/cake - DSF has put the kibosh on that this morning by 'suddenly' suggesting they go out for the day together, won't be back until this evening so too late for us to go over. DM ''don't worry, you can come over tomorrow instead, I'll have my presents then, it doesn' matter to me''. Fine. There may be one less present if I eat the chocolates though

Sibling wise, niether DH or I make an effort for them really. I don't know mine's addresses! And we all live in different countries, so rarely see each other either. But I'd text or email usually, and sometimes get a text or email back on my birthday. DH makes a huge show of remembering about his sisters bdays, but then forgets again and never calls or sends anything.

We get together for big birthdays though, if a party is thrown!

We call for sure...and often have a BBQ/potluck near the birthday date...

Cards and calls here, and get-togethers if at all possible, but those are rare unless it's a landmark birthday.

I live near my siblings and we get together for almost all family birthdays (adults and children), share birthday cake, have a family dinner and exchange cards and presents. We all have dc so it's just an excuse to get the whole family together and have a nice meal really, the presents aren't important (usually nice but inexpensive toiletries/toys we've picked up in sales).

We all see each other in person on the day or close to it so we rarely do texts or emails about it though. DH is from abroad so he usually calls his parents/sibling on birthdays and sends a card.

I see one of my sisters & her children weekly/fortnightly - and always get together for birthdays/fathers/mothers day etc - get cards for adults (gifts for 'milestone years') and gifts for all the kids involved. ... other sister is abroad - see her and her children about once every 2 yrs - but speak weekly/fortnightly

I have one DB. We send cards, never presents. We don't phone or text either. TBH, SIL is youngest of 6 with large extended family (lots of DNs) and I think she can't really be bothered with one more person (ie me) so it's left to DB, so I'm lucky (and grateful) to get a card. I send her a card on her birthday but they don't send one to DH. We rarely see them anyway.

We send cards and presents, (or take round to local one), but on the day we always phone up and sing very badly down the phone and ask 'What have you had?'. 'tis the law.

We make the effort as a family to meet up for each birthday (Me, DH, Dad, DSM, DB, SIL, DSis, BIL), have a meal out, or cook at home, and exchange proper presents and cards. We do three or four "meet-ups" a year, so in January we'll do me and DSis; in June it's Dad, DH, DB etc...

It's a really nice habit, something we started doing years ago and have continued, now including the six grandchildren as well. DSis and I live quite close, but 100+ miles from the rest, so it means there is always a get-together to look forward to.

DH's family exchange cards, if they remember, and that's about it.

The last time I spoke to my brother he called me to wish me happy birthday. A week later he was killed in an accident. We had gone through some serious ups and downs in the past, I'm so glad we were on an up when it happened.

We usually do phone eachother, but do not necessarily send cards. We also usually get a present, even if a small thing.

If people are around then we have cake usually.

Which reminds me that next month we have three, including mine!

My three siblings all live in a different country do I don't see them on their birthdays but if I could I would.

We always call on birthdays and it is a big deal if someone forgets. I'm the eldest though at 30 so I don't know if that'll change as we all get older and the youngest ones move out and have their own families.

Send a text. Might meet for coffee if they are nearby (not often). No cards or presents. No phone call.

I call DB and send a card, usually see him around the day (he's not local). DH is one of 6 siblings and although he sends a card to them and their DC, only 1 of his siblings sends him or the kids a card or present even though the rest of them are godparents to our children