It's time I believe to make a big change....

[Whizkidwithacrazystreak]

I'm coming up to 7 years of marriage. The early days were filled with fun adventures and we shared great times. We now have 2ds. The eldest is due to start school in September with the younger due to start next year. I am a SAHM, but have also worked from home and the combination has been difficult to manage. We moved from London to the commuter belt for a better way of life and it is better for the entire 'family'. I do know this, however, I am extremely lonely and isolated. I am not British and my family live on the other side of the world. DH is British, and his family is here, although, there is little support from them.

My biggest concernis is that he is unwilling to move to my country where I (we) have support, yet I have stuck by him for 7 years now. We had always agreed that we would live in my home country, but now that I am at my wits end he doesn't want to move. Admittingly, he has his own company and can see the finish line as to a sell off, but that is uncertain IMO, and could potentially take another 6 years. I can't take living in isolation with no friends or life and happiness anymore. Ideally, I would like to return home and he can continue doing what he is doing then follow us (if right at the time) at a later date. I doubt he will agree to this and I get the impression that he will make it difficult for me to leave with the kids.

DH has a short wick and has anger managment issues. We have been to a psychotherapist which was good and for a while we seemed to enjoy life together for a little bit more. The problem is that DH is not too keen to continue seeing him for his anger management and even if he did I don't think it would help that much as I have pretty much decided that I'm done with this sham of this relationship. This weekend he swung me around and threatened to throw me in the river and then at home he chased me and threw me in the bushes. I called the police this time and they took statements and it will go down on his record (but not charged). I don't love him and I am desperate for my friends and family.

I'm going to call my solicitor today for advice, but thought that I'd put it up here for all the worldly MNers.

He doesn't have an anger management problem, he has an abuse problem.

Very well done on calling the police. And on realising this relationship must end.

Beyond the police and solicitor (another great call!), there are plenty of sources of help for you:

• Women's aid 0808 200 247
• Your GP, for referral to individual counselling if you think you need it.
• Friends and family, even abroad. Phone them, tell them what you told us here. Talking it out and receiving emotional support is a great support.

And please consider pressing charges.

How do you feel?

I feel relieved that I have made these choices and I feel comfortable, albeit, a little scared that I now know that I want out. I just want to go home and take my precious boys with me. They saw him throw me in the bushes and they both burst into tears and were as terrified as I was.

I will not bring up boys who will see this behaviour and think that OK or normal. The eldest told the police 'Dad threw mummy in the bushes', she then asked how it made him feel to which he said 'I just cried and cried'.

My mum is coming over later in the year so that's something to look forward to.

What HotDAMN said.

You need to get away from him, please ring Women's Aid, they will help you to get away from him and give you some rl support. You don't have to stay and feel like this anymore.

Make plans, and get out and as far away from him as you can.

I just want to go home and take my precious boys with me.

Why not do just that?

If he doesn't agree it would be seen as a child abductor...

I'm hoping he will agree that it would be best for all of us. He can move back to our London flat, save some money and then we could try again later.

He won't agree.

His game is to keep you under his control.

Go on holiday home with your kids - it's summer. Make it a long one, without him.