Please tell me this doesn't happen in reality and I'm being silly

[Franziska]

I've just attended a conference / workshop in the US. On day 2 of the conference I met someone and we clicked instantly. We went for a long walk, and by day 4 we'd kissed. Basically, I'm head over heels in love, and they say they are too, and I believe. He's funny, smart and we just have amazing chemistry. I'm leaving to go back to the UK, but I'm so in love. He's agreed to visit me this summer. Is this crazy?

It feels so wonderful yet so illogical. Has anyone got any advice?

I've had it happen twice, both leading to long distance relationships.

First time: although I had more points of reference (mutual colleagues etc), it turned out he had pulled the wool over my (and everyone else's) eyes. It ended in total disaster, heartbreak for me, and took me a long time (and a lot of foolishly drunk alcohol) to get past. Looking back, I can see some of the red flags now, but only in hindsight. I don't blame myself for not spotting them, a friend/colleague whose job it is to spot them had the wool pulled over his eyes too.

The second time: he wandered into my local bar one night, we went on 2 dates, then he returned home. Visited me a week later & we spent a year 'commuting' across Europe. We were married 18 months later & we have two lovely (if non-sleeping!) daughters.

All of which rambling is to say - yes it can work. But keep your wits about you and don't make any life-altering decisions just yet.

It does happen, it happened to me. Before I even knew his name, I told my friend that I'd be marrying him! 3 weeks later we were living together and organising the wedding. We've just celebrated our 10 year anniversary

Just remember, we never regret what we have done, only what we haven't. I hope it works out for you

Aw, why shouldn't it happen like that?! All those novels and love-songs are drawn from reality you know!

Good luck: hope it works out!

I do believe in instant attraction, so if you are both single, there's no reason why not to do this.

However, check he is single. This happened to a girlfriend of mine who met a great guy at a conference, really felt that spark, returned to the Uk with him coming to visit later in the year, when she looked at his research profile online (it might have been his CV) on which he said he was 'married'. She immediately called him to ask him what was going on, and he said that him and his wife had an 'understanding' that it was fine for him to have other relationships!

Obviously it came to an abrupt end. This the real problem with meeting a long way away, you don't get to see the family, friends, the context, so it's very easy for people to make up who they are. Having said that, if you take it slowly and perhaps do some digging (just he's who he says he is, look at his Facebook for photos of wife!) then it's lovely to be in love.

Met my H in a bar - he was only in the country for 24 hours. We corresponded by email and I flew to visit him for a weekend 3 weeks later. We were engaged in six months, married in 9 and have now got 2 perfect children and have been together 4 year and still very happy (most of the time!!).

This is all making me smile big dopey romantic smiles. Very sweet stories that restore my faith in love itself. despite poo nappies and all the rest, love will out.

Saw him tipping his chair back at the pool side in Malta. Had sex on a rooftop 3 days later...
Celebrated our wedding anniversary this weekend...together 24 years, married 22, have four great children.. and still love each other very much. Lust at first sight turned into a partnership for ever (I hope!)

Awww this is just lovely!

Is he American then? Will you have to do long distance? That's quite exciting. Better start saving!

DH and I knew instantly, engaged after six weeks. Married two years later, when we could be in the same city.

22nd anniversary next month.

But we were students, not huge amounts of past history or past hurts. Definitely no wives or Ex-wives, ex husbands or DCs.
I don't know if it's so easy if your older.

It is possible but be careful that he is what he says he is.

I have just celebrated 18 years since I met DH in a bar in a foreign country. We only met each other once in that country but managed to get in contact in the UK through a bizarre way (we hadn't exchange details as we'd intended to see each other again in that country but circumstance prevented it).

Neither of us were looking for anyone, he was separated and sore, I was fairly happily involved. I finished a relationship of 2.5yra based on the one meeting with DH. I kept telling everyone I felt 15 again!!

Sometimes these things happen, I hope it has for you. Just be cautious until you can prove he has told you the truth, I too know people who've had the wool pulled over their eyes at conferences.

Good Luck! :-)

My parents met in February, got engaged in May and married in December. They have been married 42 years this year :)

Also happened to my parents - met (youth hostelling) in July, married in January, were together for 46 years until my mum's death.

But also agree to check he isn't married and to watch for red flags (incidentally that's one of the problems about spotting weirdos - there are genuine cases of love at first sight, in fact it's not that rare, and weirdos take advantage of this to try to sweep you off your feet - go with gut instincts).

Thanks, I'm back in the UK now, so couldn't reply. I'm 100% sure there's no ex-wife (we're on facebook, and I saw an email from his mum saying how happy he sounded)

I'm missing him terribly. Thanks for all your stories. I'll be careful, but I'm so amazed at what has happened here

How lovely! Good luck, I hope it ends as well as so many stories on here :)

I have some close family friends who met at a party and were married, in ridiculous outifts, 6 weeks later. They now have grown up children and grandchildren and are clearly still potty about each other.

I know a couple who got together instantly after copping off at a disco. Within 3 weeks their friends were taking bets on them getting married. It was their 25th wedding anniversary this year.

Go for it. You are so so lucky.

I thought I'd revive this thread. Ok, he's coming to visit me in two weeks. We've just skyped for four hours. I'm still having to pinch myself. The logical part of me can see all the problems, but my cheeks are hurting from smiling so much. Is this normal?

I knew after half a day of meeting him that I was going to marry DH. It wasn't some lusty romantic notion, because we've now been together almost 17 years!

However, we were together all the time. A trans Atlantic relationship is hard enough with my family, never mind a lover!

Aw that's so lovely! Good for you, how exciting.

Let us know how it goes!