can I get a divorce on the basis of drunkness?

[complexo]

Dh doesn't get as drunk as he used to do and not as much, I would say that now is about once every 3 or 4 months whereas before could be twice a week. We used to fight when he was drunk in the past but now I just ignore and he goes to sleep. In fact he gets drunk now when he is overtires and didn't have time to eat properly. In the past he would not come home from work, I would call and ask what time he would be back than he wouldn't be back by then and wouldn't pick up his phone and turn up very late whereas at the present he calls me before goes to the pub, asks if I'm ok with him going, and is back early when he said he would be Today was exactly like that and also brought a bag with food which was nice. But I grew up with a drunk father at home and I don't want to put up with it in my adulthood. I'm not British and I understand it is British culture but I don't like DD seeing her dad drunk and I hate drunk people. I'm not in love with DH and talked to him about divorce in the past so he can have a loving sexual relationship with someone who loves him, but he refuses to go and let me go and is always trying hard to make things work. So can I use drunkenness to get divorce? By the way, he had a extremely busy work and I understand he needs to socialise today and probably got drunk easily.

The suggestion has been made (implied) that the marriage was in order to obtain a UK passport.

I have no idea whether or not this is the case, but clearly his drunkenness isn't an issue because he no longer drinks - or only once every three or four months.

OP you are aware that assets are not divided 50:50 for short marriages?

Hopefully - if you actually read the thread she has said using the drinking would really just be an excuse because his previous drinking behaviour basically ended the marriage in her mind and the marriage has not ended because he refuses to let her get out of it.

He's telling her to go because he knows it is much harder for her to strike out on her own with a child in a country which is not her native one.

She has said she had residency rights and I find it hard to believe someone would marry AND have a child with someone just to get leave to remain. You don't even know anything about where she is from, it may be the EU, it may not be, it doesn't really matter.

She's clutching at desperate straws because he won't accept the relationship is over. I don't see why he can't go and live somewhere else it would be cruel to make her disrupt the child.

Stuffitunderthebed - if your partner doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you you don't "get credit" for "making an effort to work on the relationship" that is actually a crazy and controlling thing to do. Normal people don't just go around disallowing their wife from ending the relationship.

You can have him if you want TryHarder

You can have him if you want TryHarder

Oh and there are no assets, no house / mortgage / car / savings ...nothing at all. That is why I suggested bedsit for him. He will be single. I can stay in our 2 bedroom rented flat and pay the rent myself.

If the police have had to be called once already to deal with his abusive drunken behaviour, it will be on record and that will make it easier for you to get a court order to remove him from the home if he refuses to go. You do not need his permission to end the relationship, you do not 'owe' him a relationship you do not want to participate in. See a solicitor and get rid of him: best of luck in doing so.

Yes, if you are renting could you speak to your landlord and see if he will evict him by taking him off the tenancy. It might be a risky strategy but my landlord did this for me and was relieved to get rid of twatty x.

I think this could be easily contested. Which he will probably do.
He was drinking too much. This was causing problems. OP says he must cut down and only does so with her prior consent 4 times a year. Unless the removal from the property was recent or everytime he went drinking, I can't see anyone agreeing it was unreasonable.
How long ago was the removal?
Why do you need an excuse? If he won't go he won't go and certainly will contest this.
Why don't you move out? If it is really that bad and won't go, this maybe the better option.

I don't think the divorce is the main issue. Ending the relationship is. Whoever is having the child for the most time should stay in the current flat or they could both move but this might be unnecessarily disruptive for the child.

OP I don?t think you can really use his drunkenness as a reason to leave him anymore because he has reined it in enormously and only goes to the pub with your permission. You?ve not said whether you say he can go on the condition he doesn?t come home (obviously) drunk though. What you can say to him is that his previous l drunken behaviour eroded your feelings for him beyond repair and although he?s trying to please you now, it?s too late. That would seem more honest. Did you know he liked to have a few to drink when you married him or has this crept into the relationship since?

I think the trouble is, if you read her posts, that she had already said all this to him over and over again and his response is that he is going to work on the relationship. She has asked him to leave and he won't. Where she is now is a place of desperation because she can't get him to let her go.

Thanks for replies and people trying to understand. We used to go to pubs when we were dating and have a drink...I never got drunk though and first time he did, I said I wouldn't put up with drunkness and explained about my childhood and alcoholic father. Obviously men say they will change and women usually believe. He never got drunk again until I got pregnant and at the same time we were having lots of problems. So I was pregnant and he was getting drunk, my dd was a baby and he was getting drunk....always promissing to stop and me trying to hold on and keep everything together. The only reason why he stopped to drink as much and cause trouble while drunk is because I called the police on that day (October last year). Since than he is doing his best to improve the relationship and he is doing well, I know he means well but I am sorry it is too late and I wish it wasn't. The problem with living with a partner that you don't love is that they are always expecting something from you that you can't give. I know he is unhappy, I am cold, we don't have sex. And I am afraid that one day the pressure will be too much and he will explode and also blame me because he can't understand I felt out of love. I have been rejected many times before and I do know how much t hurts but I also know sometimes you can't just fix a relationship and it is better to move on and at least give yourself a chance to find love somewhere else. I don't hate him and I admire him a lot, I wish we cold sort this out as friendly as possible for our sake and of course our daughter's sake.