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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm a fool but what now?

26 replies

emess · 24/06/2012 18:45

Really don't know where to start. DH suffers from tinnitus and depression and says he's being treated for possible schizophrenia. However I say none of this excuses him being rude to me, our DS and my best friend (last night) and being angry with me all day today. None of the above is for the first time, either. We've had several frank exchanges of views today: I told him I was tired of living like this, that I am scared in my own house when he gets angry, etc. He assures me he won't hurt any of us - I've told him he already has (EA) etc. You get the gist. He insisted he would have to be the one to move out on the grounds that "you can't leave me with the children!" Er, the children are both at uni and we barely see them as it is. He has threatened and attempted suicide in the past, and still insists it's "the only way out" for him (especially since I told him he has alrady hurt us!). So now he has left the house with a jacket on and a rucksack. Not the first time he has done this - he has been gone for between 2 and 11 hours in the past. I know he has all his meds with him, but no phone or wallet however, and earlier today he also cut up all but one bank/credit card.
My friend was upset last night - not on my behalf, but because his behaviour brought back memories of her violent ex-p whom she left 30 years ago. I did text her later with a sorry but have not had a reply.

I'm obviously a fool for letting him treat me like this, but what now? Anyone been in this place? Obviously with him being mentally ill I have spells of feeling like a heartless cow...

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 25/06/2012 19:23

If it were completely impossible to leave, then so many marriages would not break up

You will find a way. There is always a way. No one is trapped indefinititely in this day and age. Your best option might be to go to mediation and both try your hardest to be amicable. That would make all the practical difficulties a bit easier to overcome.

Do you think he would do that, or would he make your life hell if you push for it ?

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