13 weeks pregnant and I don't think he loves me?!

[Bubbless]

Bit of background; dc concieved out of the blue, but very happy about it. He was as excited as I was, we have been together one year..
Used to be very affectionate etcetc

Since finding out I'm pregnant it seems he doesn't want to touch me with a 10ft barge-pole?! Will get into bed and not even touch me (not sexually, but even cuddles?!) Will only kiss me out of habit when I drop him at work..

Aibu? 13 weeks preg so I might be, but are these warning signs?!

maybe or maybe not...is he trying to get his head around the big change to come? Some people do freak out a bit at this stage (men or women) He may also be a bit scared of sex with you and be avoiding cuddles etc incase it might lead to anything.

Time to talk to him about what it's about maybe.

Have you talked to him about this? If not, why not?

You say you 'conceived out of the blue'. Was this a planned conception or a contraceptive failure?

You've known him a year. Are you living together; have you both committed by word or deed to having a long term relationship with each other?

You've said he was as excited as you about your pg but could it be that he's having second thoughts?

Fool- I hope you right, and he does have a problem when it comes to sharing his feelings, I think I needed someone else to suggest it so I didn't think I was rationalising!

Izzy- I haven't talked to him about it, yet. I know I need to but guess I needed some reassurance he wasn't going to run away!
Contraceptive failure, was on anti biotics and totally forgot they can affect the pill. One of those 'I never thought it would happen to me' moments!
We live together in our rented flat, and he's said (in the past) that he sees us together forever- so am assuming he was (at least at somepoint) wanting to stay around :/

I'm worried he's having second thoughts but doesn't know how to tell me :/

Bite the bullet and talk to him, honey.

If it's bad news it's better to get it over with and know where you stand, but it could just be that he's got peculiar antiquated notions of how to treat a pg woman.

Pick your moment and wrap it up in a bit of a joke about you having passed the point of no return in your pg and you're now in it for the long haul whether you like it or not, and ask him how he feels about that.

Okay, so was lying in bed this morning and cuddled into him and he just kept playing on his phone :s
I then went with 'why don't you cuddle me anymore?' And he thought putting an arm around me (whilst still on the phone!?) Would count.
I'm going to have to broach this again later xD

don't be subtle. Be kind but be direct. He needs to know how you feel and you need to know what is going on for your own sake.

I would suggest asking about the baby directly as Izzy said, then you can broach the subject of physical affection etc if it is appropriate after that.

You really must speak to him. It could just be that he's still a little shocked and probably scared. The first time you are both entering into the unknown and men can often take it the worst.
Also his reluctance to do anything more than kiss you could very well be a fear he will hurt the baby....lots of men think they can squash it or prod it with their " manstick" only in their dreams would it actually be long enough :) so they push the woman away, giving the cold and uninterested signal so that there's no risk of getting himself worked up and horny.
Hope you get to the bottom of this hun xxx

thanks for the help guys, had a conversation by conversation i mean a 3 hour argument involving tears on both sides but weve sorted it out
he was worried that cuddling me would cause my cramps to get worse / hurt me (my belly is stretching at a horrifically fast rate!) and so he didnt want to come anywhere near me.
he is petrified about the baby, as my family are offering no support and parents already have their first grandchild living with them (from his sister, not his!) so hes worried were going to end up going it alone... i said we wernt alone.. we have each other ;) cue more tears

he has been 100000x better since this conversation, thank you!!

I'm glad to hear it, honey.

May I suggest that when you want him to open up you avoid 'Why don't you' and go for 'When you don't.. a, b, c ... it makes me feel... x, y , z' as it's less likely to make him feel that he's about to be subject to the Spanish inquisition

Aww I'm so happy you have sorted it out :) and you're right, if no-one else...you do have each other, just make sure the communication lines are always open between you both.
Good luck with the baby xxxx

this is a very good point izzy- will try and take into consideration.
i did conclude the conversation with 'if you just talked to me in the first place it wouldnt have ended up like this..' he agreed, bless him

thanksssss :)

ahhh great...all the best for the next few months (and beyond).

don't forget the talking thing...he can't guess what's in your mind and you can't guess what's on his!!