Is boredom normal

[Fairyloo]

Hi,

I am really looking for some advice as I'm not sure if it's me or this is the way all relationships go.

Been with dp 10 years one dd. I love him like a brother but nothing more. Is this normal? We have a great life. Settled, safe and yes a bit dull.

Do all relationships end up this way am I being naive to think the lust would remain 10 years later.

I just want some bloody excitement!! Is it worth splitting a family up for a bit of initial excitement which will surely pass.

Sometimes it just seems so dull

Anyone else like this??

Won't it just get dull with someone else after ten years though?

Is it worth splitting a family up for a bit of initial excitement ??
No, it's not.

But not all relationships descend into boredom. Think of ways to do stuff together that you both enjoy, to put some spark back into your relationship.

Has it been a steady progress downhill or is this a sudden disillusionment?

Why can't you make things exciting with your dp?

We have been through bored periods. But I have never been in that place where I love dh like a brother.
Each time either me or dh have started a conversation about it and the other usually feels the same. We make a plan. Sometimes its doing things together sometimes its doing things apart. I like running and took it up again. Dh likes having the house and kids for an hour or two and love it.
He has hobbies as well. At one point neither of us wanted to do anything away from the family as we didn't want the other to pick the slack. but now we both do its great.
But our bored periods usually come from lifestyle. We seemed to be always on the go with work and the everyday kids stuff and housework. We were then to knackered to bother doing anything. Now we make an effort to have a romantic meal when the kids are in bed or sit have a cuddle while ds is napping. Before we would have been ironing. But we have learnt that ironing can wait. We need to spend time with each other and doing fun things with the kids, alone or as a couple.
Not sure if this will help you. Depends on if you are bored or bored with the marriage and how deep it goes.

IT IS NOT WORTH SPLITTING UP UOUR FAMILY FOR SOME EXCITEMENT and I know that's in capitals and I'm shouting at you, but believe me I am speaking from bitter experience

I left my DH for 3 months of madness and it was the worst time of my life. I thought it was great until I realised that when i left DH, I left my self respect behind too

That was over four years ago. DH and I are still together and have since had two more DCs. He still hasn't forgiven me, it's still very raw and I wish every single day that I could turn back the clock and not fuck up the best thing I ever had.

I love DH so much and I'm so ashamed of myself for hurting him how I did, I just wish I'd put the effort into my marriage really and fought harder for that spark.

We have the spark again now and in total have been together 12 years, but it does take effort.

I think boredom is normal. I like boredom though. DP and I have been together for 19 years, we know each other inside out. But, we like each other and have a laugh together. I'd rather that than any giddy excitement of the initial fancying stage. God, that was always SUCH hard work!!

I still really fancy and adore my DH after 12 years, so I'm not sure all relationships are doomed to end up with the participants being bored.

That's a different question from whether it makes sense to break up a happy home with someone you get on well with and care for to pursue other sexual relationships.

Do you think it is impossible to get the excitement back?

I don't find my husband boring, although I do find him hard work at times. It depends what you mean by 'boring', if you have a boring lifestyle, that is quite easily changed, by spending more time together, doing fun things, having your own hobbies, quite small things which enhance your overall life and make you more satisfied so you seem less annoyed that he doesn't entertain you, if you see what I mean. If you spend lots of time with him and find him boring, that's another issue.

I think you not only need to analyse exactly what is boring, but exactly what you want to find more interesting and work to change it. If you mean there's a lack of passion, that's a different problem than if there's a lack of time together/rather routine dull life.