AIBU to expect DH to acknowledge my birthday?

[janji]

I am probably being very selfish and materialistic but aibu to expect my dh to at least acknowledge my 40th birthday today with a token gift even if its only on behalf of my 2 dc? We are both average wage earners and its not the amount that bothers me, just the fact that he hasnt seen it as important. No other issues / arguments and he says he is sorry, but i feel really hurt!

What an absolute pig.Happy Birthday from me and make sure you have a lie in plus breakfast in bed tomorrow. Mx.

Jaw dropped - how could he possibly not realise that your 40th was imortant? did you ignore his, or something?

My husband gave me a really fab party - t'was wonderful!

I would guess that there is more to this than just a forgotten birthday? Are you ready to call 'time'?

Mine never acknowledged my birthday, and was always 'too busy' to get a card. He was not too busy however to manage a rather complicated affair with a woman who lives in another country. Lots of time to book travel and hotels. I have just kicked off the divorce process.

Not saying your DH is a philandering bstrd, just that never being bothered is never a good sign.

Have always acknowledged his bd/fathers day etc even if only for sake of excitement at celebrating. He never seems to plan ahead and often uses the (poor) xcuse of didnt know wat to get etc etc. Just feel really unappreciated I spose...a gesture of any kind wudve been nice!

You are not being unrasonable, I turn 40 soon and my husband knows we have to celebrate it.

Happy Birthday!!

My DH organised a dinner at a friend's house, but I'm sure it's on'y because my friend instigated it. He wasn't even going to be in the country for my birthday and when I said I was upset he told me that in his country they didn't make a fuss for 40th birthdays fucking liar

I was going to suggest that he had a surprise planned but I see he has already apologised. That's really shitty, op. I'm sorry.

YANBU, tackle him on it properly and tell him how hurt it makes you feel. DH forgot my birthday one week after our wedding day, I made no bones about how disappointed I was, how it doesn't come as a surprise etc. we do both have a gift lift running, mostly for his benefit, so he has easy ideas for birthdays and Christmas. My mother now calls him a couple of weeks before to remind him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My "DH" forgot my birthday & said I was unreasonable to make a fuss as he had got 2 watches for the price of 1 on a plane on our way back from holiday 2 weeks before & given 1 to me & "what more did I bloody expect?" We are now separated.

My Dad forgot/didn't bother with my step mums 50th birthday. No card, present, cake, anything. They had a row about it where he told her she was being silly and he said "50 isn't an important birthday anyway". We both tore him a new one on that. He's a bit of a self-indulgent twat, sounds like your partner may be too.

DId you not drop subtle hints in the month leading up to it ?
Before my 40th, I was putting thoughts about "How we might celebrate my 40th" out there quite regularly.

Even for minor birthdays, I'm to be found wandering around the house singing "Happy Birthday to me" for a week or two beforehand, and offering people my birthday list if they need any guidance

Oh gosh OP, how awful for you. The man's a total arse.

How horrible for you! Happy birthday though! (was mine yesterday)
I know this one too - not from dh but from my mother. She totally forgot on at least 2 occasions, and made not much effort at all on others. So it's a sore point for me, and dh knows that, so always tries to make an extra effort.
Whilst it'd be nice if they just "knew" what you'd like as a gift, at the very least he could bloody ask you. Not just trot out that crappy lame excuse of "didn't know what you wanted."

What a git! Happy birthday!!! (is mine today too).
I hope you are able to let him know how sad this has made you feel & he is good enough to make it up to you.

Forgetting, or not bothering, with any birthday would be appalling, but your 40th, jeez, what a tool!

You definitely ANBU to be mighty pissed off with him and if I were you I would be going out and buying myself a big prezzy from him to make it up to myself. In fact, I did this once, when H bought himself a kindle a few weeks before Xmas, I thought 'sod it, I deserve something nice too' and bought a new camera I'd had my eye on. Never felt so indulgent in my life.

I even wrote myself a card, saying "Dear DIFM, Just a little token of appreciation for all that you do. You work so hard looking after everyone and taking care of their needs that you deserve something special to say thank you, lots of love DIFM xxx"

DCs thought I'd gone mad. H was just a bit !

Oh and happy birthday too, sorry! x

How horrid! However, I'm surprised you left it to the day to mention it, I was planning what to do for my 40th for a few weeks beforehand at least, and same with my DH's 40th (we went away), I certainly wouldn't have not mentioned it and left it to chance.

I planned my own party for my 40th as knew my h wouldnt, then he walked out 2 weeks before...... he did come back (but walked out again 6 weeks later for good). anyway..... he took the day off on my birthday and we went out to lunch and for a walk along the seafront. had a lovely day. but i did have to drop a few hints about not wanting to spend the day on my own etc and that I would like some perfume and what my favourite chocs were!.......

I intend to celebrate my 41st birthday in style next year as I now feel that my 40th was a total sham as he obviously didnt want to be there!!

Happy Birthday! some men just really dont get it do they?!

Op that's awful! What an arse! How hard is it to pop into jewellers and buy something pretty and book a restaurant!

Why is 40 more important than 39 or 41?

If yours isn't a family that does the whole birthday thing, then it's not surprising that it goes unmarked.

But she always celebrates his birthday, Jumping. It's not too much to ask, surely, that your own husband buys you a present!

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY!

I really understand where you are coming from, I never got so much as a card for my 30th from my husband. In fact, He only said 'Happy birthday' to me when some friends arrived at 5pm with flowers and gifts for me.

To give you a comparison, For HIS 30th, I booked a hotel, Where I had gifts of a new outfit and shoes and a 30yr old malt whisky, Took him to dinner and to see his favourite local band.

When he ignored my 30th it made me feel as though he doesn't care about me, He is adamant that is not true but I will never forget it.

I am saving money now for my 40th and am going to organise a trip to New York for me, myself and I.

I am sorry he has done this, Get yourself a treat today, Even if it is only a massive bar of chocolate and a bottle of wine in front of a dvd.

Where does OP say they are a family that doesn't do 'the whole birthday thing'?

Unless you're from a faith or culture that really doesn't do birthdays eg Jehovah's Witnesses i think it's very mean spirited not to acknowledge a partner's birthday.

What a complete fucking wanker!

That IMO speaks volumes

Leave the bastard!