Feel such a bitch! Bloody mil issues.

[susiemumof]

Basically mil is a horrible woman, dh had a terrible childhood because of her and fil and they really don't have any redeeming features.

We never talked for years after dh and I got together as dh could no longer fund their drinking & gambling fund (he used to be guilt tripped into handing over most of his wages and I off course put a stop to it when we got together) they asked him to choose between them and myself and our baby dd.

After years not talking dh got very ill, he decided life was to short and got back in touch and things have been fairly awkward but I make the effort and try to forget about all the terrible things they done to dh for his sake.

Now mil is really ill and dh is spending a lot of time visiting the hospital and drivIng fil about and I am so ashamed to say I hate it! I actually burn with rage when he goes out yet again to see her. I know iabu, I am glad he has not turned out like them but I can't help feeling he is doing "to much" for them again.

I have obviously not mentioned any off this to him but feel I am not giving him any support in this. He is working long hours then visiting everyday and I can hardly bring myself to ask how she is when he comes in the door.

How do I forget/put aside all the bad feeling I have towards her and see her for the old frail woman she now is?

its your dh's problem

you need to seperate your problems

your problems might be that he is not spending time with you

rahter than he is spending time with them

see what i did there?

This is difficult and I wouldnt presume to know how you feel. I think Custardo makes a very valid point and also, you know, this too will pass!

Please try to find some compassion for your DH's sake.

If (hopefully not when) his mum does pass away, at least he will be able to feel that he did enough for both of his parents and that will be of comfort to him.

I admit when I read some of these MIL threads I cant help but feel relief that I no longer have one, but I was never good enough for her son. (Now I agree with her, he never thought I was good enough either, so he is now STBX DH :))